confused

You need counseling, to determine why you are bound and determined to sabotage your relationship with unfounded jealousies and fears.

I know whats wrong and why i feel jealous i just dont know what to do i have zero self esteem and i am worried that hes going to find someone closer to his age and im going to get hurt i hatr feeling like this its driving me crazy

And this is why counseling would be a good idea, to maybe get to the root of these feelings.

And I'm sorry if I was snippy in your other topic. They really were great quesadillas, though.

PS There will always be someone younger, smarter, thinner, whatever. They'll have bigger breasts or smaller hips or who the hell knows what else. You can obsess about that, or you can choose to be happy that you are together. And you are a worthwhile person, worthy of this guy's love and probably worthy of a bunch of other people's loves, too, yanno.

No you were fine...hes an amazing guy who has fought for out relationship to work and it seems like all i do is try to find a reason to end it because im afraid of getting hurt that he will find someone new...as for counsling i am sced but i cant get in til the 18 so im slowly getting myself into a deep depression that i dont want to go back into because last time it was very bad

It's 17 days from now. There's gotta be stuff you can do in the next 2 1/2 weeks to take your mind off things, yes?

There is i work and so does he and we actully work for the same company but when hes off and home i sit and wonder what hes doing who hes talking to or texting i even go spend time with my daughters and the same **** runs through my head...i have never been jealous in any relationship i have been in except this one i couldnt care less what happen in any of my past ones but this one is killing me

I'm wondering why you have zero self esteem?

And in relation to your self esteem, what are you doing to build it up? (there is by the way, a rather large difference between ego which is short term and superficial, and self esteem which is long term and deep rooted. It's not given to you by someone else, but found and built by you)

I'm also wondering why you only hint at 'you know why you suffer severe jealousy'...is it just the age thing?

You hint that he might have more in common with girls his age - do you have much in common?

A counsellor is good and can help, or a life coach may be even better - it depends.

He picked you for a reason. He's been with you for a year. Every time you feel this way, take 3 deep breathes, slowly inhale and out and say the above, " he picked me, he's been with me for a year" and smile. Then go give him a hug and a laugh and repeat.

People that are with happy people that show love, have no reason to look for anyone else.

You said: "all i do is try to find a reason to end it because im afraid of getting hurt that he will find someone new."

Then end it.

I think your anxiety comes from knowing deep down that this is not going to pass the test of time. Why? Because you have decided that this age difference is so important that you can't enjoy the relationship.

I suppose I can interject here with irrelevancy re myself. I met my husband the summer before I turned 34 and he was 22. We liked each other's bodies and brains. I wasn't low on self esteem, blah, blah. I was picky and some were picky re me. Probably right re all that. He was tuned in about a lot, engaged mind, and body. We got each other. Love lasted decades. We still talk - I am 72 and he is 61. We talked just yesterday. Not romantic, but about our lives.

Life is a wheel, look around, pay attention to other people and how they may feel.

Not a game.

Please, all, gather some sense of self.

Thank you all for your comments...first im not going to just end it...yes we have a lot in common...i have no self esteem because i was in an abusive relationship where i got told for years i was no good and no one else would ever want me...i am working on fixing my self esteem its one day at a time...your right he chose me for a reason its time i focus on the present and enjoy it and stop worrying what might or might not happen down the road.

I take it this guy doesn't abuse



Yes, because your ex took control deliberately to keep you there, you know full well he was wrong and what he was up to, as you eventually got out of it. BUT, if you don't live by your above quote, guess what? Your ex wins again. Don't let him win, he's past you are now in your present.

Thank you found soul and your 100%right im done letting him win