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Mon 5 May, 2014 09:21 pm
Recently I discovered messages on my wife's old facebook account between herself and her married boss (who she always talked about extremely negatively). The messages were them meeting for sex. This sex happened several time, about six years ago, right before her and I got together. My wife and I met and got together in Iraq. I found a message she sent to him while I was home on leave, saying that she wanted to go drinking with him when she got home. We were in the reserves, and when we got home (and got engaged) she was still in his unit. She says nothing else happened, and I have no evidence that anything did. I still feel enormously betrayed, sick to my stomach and am having trouble concentrating on things. She has displayed some behaviors that I thought were deceptive- immediately deleting the messages and closing the account, and claiming not to remember the message about getting together after deployment. I am going to call a counselor tomorrow. We have two kids, and I love her so much it hurts, but this whole thing is making me sick. I want to believe her and move on, but I am really struggling with this. Any thoughts or advice are greatly appreciated.
What timeline are we talking about here?
If she was seeing loverboy BEFORE you were married, that's ancient history so forget it, or are you saying she's STILL seeing him even now?
@JB3,
Calling a counselor is a very good idea. Try to put in perspective that this all happened over half a decade ago. Did it recur much more recently? If not, then it's kinda all water under the bridge, yes?
@jespah,
it was before, but meeting up to get shitfaced when we were engaged is equally unacceptable.
@JB3,
Well, sure it is. But it's still a long, long time ago.
I still support counseling, and if you can get her to go, that would be great. But go either way.
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