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Fri 7 May, 2004 03:25 pm
My sister is going to be having a baby girl anytime from now till 4 weeks. It's her first child, and will be my first time being an auntie. My sister and I are quite close, and I would like to be in the delivery room with her. She hasn't asked me, but would it be wrong of me to ask her. I want to ask her, but then I think if she really wanted me in there she would have asked. What do you think?
Could you approach it as helping coach and support?
It may not have occurred to her that you'd want to be in the room. I'd just ask and respect her response either way. No harm done that way.
cheers & congrats in advance
Is the father going to be there?
If so, then she may want it to be just them.
If not, she'll probably be glad you volunteered.
For our second child, it was a 26-hour extravaganza. So if you go, be prepared.
Yes, her husband will be there. I totally understand if they just want it to be only him.
I think the idea of approaching this as "I'd love to be able to offer you support when you're delivering. Please know that I'll be there if you need me there" is a really gracious way to do this. She's getting the information that you'd like to be there, but not feeling (hopefully) pressured to let you in.
That gives her the option of saying "no. hubby and i want to do this alone" or maybe something like "oh, that's great. i wasn't sure how to ask you about this".
Personally, even as the mummy, I would rather not be there.
My idea of natural childbirth is "wake me up when the hairdresser comes, dear!"
I was in the room when my sister's first child was born. Are YOU absolutely SURE you want to be in there? I think it's scarred me for life {grin}. We hadn't planned it, it just happened that way. I couldn't leave, it was like witnessing a train wreck.
56-hour marathon here...
I agree with ehBeth as well. You can add the 26- and 56-hour marathon thing if you'd like... I thought I wanted it to be just me and my husband, but I wasn't counting on the 56-hour part!! While I'm not sure how much difference it would have made to me, I think it would have helped him to have more support.
These things are never quite as you predict.
Anyway, a nice low-key no pressure offer sounds good.
I agree with the wise women here. My sis was in with her hubby, the dula, the OB/GYN and the nurses. I didn't add much. Sometimes I communicated between the dula and the hubby. I did make runs home to let dogs out and feed cats and such. I relieved hubby so he could go and eat a sandwich at one point, I think.
Thank you all for the very good advise. I'll offer her support and if she needs that's great, and if she doesn't i'll be close by thinking about her.
I suspect she'll appreciate the offer, standupFP. I know that a couple of my friends were quite surprised to find out that anyone would want to be in the delivery room with them. They felt much like dlowan, and Joan Rivers, about this sort of thing.
Well I just talked to my sister about it today. I told her that if her husband needed a break or if she just wanted more support I would be there. She sounded very happy that I had brought it up, and it wasn't as hard of a thing to say as I thought. Thanks again for you're help, couldn't have done it with out you all!!!
I'm glad you asked/offered StandUpFp. Probably not as glad as your sister, and her husband, though.
That's awesome. I bet you can't wait until her baby is born :-D
Nope, can't wait at all. She said the baby is starting to "drop", or however a person phrases that, so I guess that means it's gonna be real soon.
Quote:During the last couple of weeks of pregnancy, this shortness of breath will subside when the baby drops down into your pelvis in preparation for birth.
http://www.essentialbaby.com.au/Pregnancy/Stages/ThirdTri.cfm
for some women, the 'drop' is quite visible. some say that they can feel their waist again (even if the outsider can't see it)
Thanks for the link ehbeth!!
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