@bobsal u1553115,
Are you trying to be humorous or are you being serious.
Humorous? I've no comment.
Serious? You should know what you did, take caution and back off. The mature thing for you to had done was understand and never sought revenge for no reason. Your evil actions from the past have came to the future to haunt you. You don't seem to understand. If you would had found the Lord changed your life to God's word, God's law, live your life right, along with accepting the Lord Jesus Christ into your heart and as your savior your life would be better than it is right now mentally. You hold grudges. You live in the past, you dwell on the past. You don't forgive. You are extremely angry within from the past. A lot of people encounter a hard childhood. Depends a lot on an individual's parents. That's where understanding and forgiving come into work.
Everyone who has rejection, neglection, hatred, negativity, and so forth need to understand love. Accept love. Understand forgiveness. Should want knowledge, should want the ability to understand and be so thankful they understand, have the ability to understand.
Love is patient, kind, a beautiful feeling like no other feeling. Love is understanding, and letting go. As you become more wise.