Fri 25 Apr, 2014 05:13 pm
For my 30th birthday I went to an 80's dance club with my boyfriend of 6 years who I have two children with. We were also there with 3 other couples. While there I went outside and found my boyfriend smoking a cigarette talking to a guy who was obviously gay. I went up and started chatting too since I had had a lot to drink and was feeling chatty. Well after we all went back inside we went our separate ways to get back with out party. Me and my girlfriends went on the dance floor and started dancing while our men hung out at the bar. While on the dance floor I saw the same gay guy dancing next to us with another guy, who I assumed was also gay, and a girl. After a few song the first gay guy who we talked to outside and the girl left the dance floor. Since I was celebrating my birthday and feeling like a social butterfly I decided to dance with the gay guy along with my friends. Just a couple of fast 80's songs, no touching, no holding, no funny stuff just dancing. When I went back to my boyfriend he was upset asked me who the guy was I was dancing with. I said that guy was gay he was there with your new gay friend from outside. No big deal, no bad intentions. Well we got into a huge fight. He said I humiliated him in front of all our friends and it didn't matter the guy was gay. I told him I didn't think it was a big deal because to me it was like dancing with another girl. I was drunk and I was just being friendly. I apologized told him I would never do it again. Now 6 months later he told me he doesn't trust me, believes I would do it again to spite him, and believes I will end up cheating on him because I had no remorse for dancing with the gay guy. We are on the point of breaking up for this and other issues, but I can't help but feel I am right on this issue and he is totally overreacting. Am I wrong should I feel guilty for dancing with the gay guy even if I didn't mean any harm? Or is he wrong for not understanding that it was a harmless dance that didn't mean anything?
If everything happened as you say here, then this guy is looking for a reason to make you feel guilty. Six months is a long time for him to nurse a grudge. He seems to be telling you he doesn't trust you, and just found something to hang his hat on.
He could be giving you a preview of how life will be with him, you walking on tip-toes hoping not to injure his fragile ego. He constantly carping that you're not trustworthy.