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Wed 23 Apr, 2014 08:01 pm
I met someone on an online dating Site about a month ago. We went on five dates in total. Our dates went well and the first date ended up being about 5 hours as we enjoyed each others company and lost track of time. It ended quick with a quick awkward kiss on the lips. On all our other dates the conversation flowed, there were no awkward silences, he was very affectionate and did things like hold my hand while he was driving. Also all our dates were lunch, movie dinner, coffee or shopping dates except for the 5th one. Initially he also sent me daily messages telling me he liked me or just to say hi. During this time he never put the hard word on me although he did suggest lunch and movies at my house on 'that third date' and jokingly texted once he'd cook me dinner if I took care of dessert. When he suggested hanging out at mine I said I was not comfortable but things did not change he was still sweet and this was the same on the fourth and fifth date.
After the fourth date, which only consisted of kissing, which had become intense and I know from experience its the type that would lead to more if I had invited him to my house, which i didn't he didn't call like he said he would and his messages were less frequent although they still came and were sweet. On Easter Sunday he came over to my house after asking if he could. He gave me chocolates and we did end up having have sex. Last night he sent me the text saying that he didn't feel the spark or see a future although he tried. I now wonder if he did all the sweet gestures as an attempt to shag me. I did mention casually I had alot in common with his sister who does irrate him because she can be unintentionally careless, irresponsible and a scatterbrain. Yet his interest did not fade although I did mention that I had been guilty of doing alot of things he complained about with his sister. So now I wonder if was he after one thing or did he just think I wasn't good sexually
@girlwithfairytattoo,
Next time, listen to your instincts. You weren't ready for it to move to an intimate level yet allowed him to push you. You didn't feel comfortable with the not so subtle hints he was rushing you with. You didn't feel comfortable having him at your house, yet you let him come over and let him have sex with you.
Listen to your gut. Don't allow anyone to pressure you beyond your comfort limits. Take charge of your own life and actions. Learn from this and move on, and take things at your own speed. Be willing to say "no," and don't put yourself in situations where someone can take advantage of you.
What a creep.
He got what he wanted and now he's gone.
I doubt if his sister had anything to do with this.
He does owe you an explanation, but I doubt if you will get it.
Yes - he was after one thing. His mission was accomplished.
@girlwithfairytattoo,
I don't even have to read your post (although I did).
Almost always, when someone asks that question (or substitute
she for
he; I'm not being sexist here), the answer is
YES.
@Butrflynet,
I don't think he pressured her according to what she said, as I didn't read any indication that he continued to gesture a more intense encounter. In fact, I think what she is saying is that his "lack of feelings" which is opposite to pressure, is what is indicative of the possibility that he was out for one thing.
@girlwithfairytattoo,
I know for some it's quite easy for people (particularly women) to state that this guy was out for one thing, and logically that would be the easiest rationale, but I believe there are two sides to every story. The most obvious to me is the fact that you guys "clicked" and now the sudden change. Now, aside from you assuming he changed his behavior because you didn't give him sex what if perhaps he was having a bad day? I mean, you didn't indicate whether you question his sudden change of heart,3 I know I would have if I was kissing someone passionately. People do odd things but jumping to conclusions without actually knowing the truth is not good.
He kept pursuing her and then - when they did have sex, he goes MIA.
I'd say that's a guy after one thing.
@PUNKEY,
But that is one side of the story we don't truly KNOW that. She is only giving us her narrative. There are 1001 things why he stopped persuing her.
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