Getting over an affair

This tells me all I need to know about you and your character.

I have no suggestions at all. You deserve everything you are dealing with. In fact, you deserve much worse. Actually, I do have one suggestion. Tell your wife and work on your marriage.

Can you move?

I am only half-kidding.

See, usually the way to get over someone (affair, girlfriend, etc.) is to cease all contact. But you do not have that option here.

So since leaving your spouses isn't on the table, and I assume moving isn't, either, why not try going on vacation with your family? It's almost the summer time and school will be out. It doesn't have to be a long or expensive holiday. It can be to the next town.

But go. Get away. And talk to your wife about what happened. And maybe go for counseling.

I sure wish they would move! But that's not going to happen. There are some small family trips planned. I'm trying to rekindle things with my wife. It's complicated. I've gone to counselling as well. Not really helping. Going to up with seeing a psychologist. Hopefully that will help.

I know I do deserve it. I asked for all this. It was just one of those things that was bound to happen. We've been dancing around it for years and we finally took the plunge. Affairs never work out and everyone gets hurt. And I'm the guy that didn't get caught and somehow I'm hurting the worst

The problem you have, and the problem I have, is that if it were up to you and you had not been caught, you would be continuing with the affair. Based on that, you are not hurting because of guilt or because of what you have done to your family (and to hers, although of course she is equally responsible), but you are hurting because you got caught and you miss what you had going on with her.

Bullcrap. Saying it was bound to happen is a pathetic attempt to absolve yourself of guilt. It was not bound to happen. The two of you made it happen. There is a difference.

Look, you say you are going to counseling. That is great. And, harsh as I have been in my words here, I do hope you can get to a better place. But you need to accept the responsibility (which includes understanding and dealing with the consequences) and talk to your wife and work on earning back her trust.

I will wish you good luck. We all make mistakes in our relationships.

Well, if she was REALLY in love with you, she would have left your spouse - and you the same. You knew that going in, so why are you crying in your beer?

You had an affair, outside of your marriage vows, with no intention of it ever becoming anything more than a sexual fling.

Count your gratitudes. That husband could have kicked your ass or your wife could leave you.

Hopefully, in 3 months you will give a big sigh of relief. In the meantime, lick your own wounds. You have hurt enough people.

Your absolutly right. But I never said I was hurting from guilt. I hurt from missing her terribly. You go from oneday having this intense relationship then total cut off the next day. It tore out a piece of my heart and I just can't turn these emotions off with a flip of a switch.
You going through the same thing too?

I read that wrong. You said "the problem I have" I thought you were in the same boat. You have a problem with that we'd still be going strong. Never mind that last question

The relationship was very emotional actually. Love was on the horizon. But there are factors involved with just dumping everything and leaving our families. I admit it wouldn't have turned out well. At least not at this point of our lives. And it could have ended worse for sure.
I hope this will pass in 3 months but it's been a month and a half already and I'm still fucked up. This affair was years in the making with a lot of emotion invested.

Mine just ended recently. It wasn't overly emotional for the other person (as far as I can tell, now), but it was enough for me to be having trouble getting over it.