I Was Thinking.........

I was thinking ....
that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans.

I was

thinking....
about old age and decided that it is when you still have something on
the ball but you are just tootired

to bounce it.

I thought about ....
making a movie for folks my age and call it "Pumping Rust."

I have

found....
at my age going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of my face.

I was thinking...
about how people

seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get
older - then it dawned on me - they were cramming for
their

finals!

You know when ...
people see a cat's litter box, they always say, "Oh,have you got a cat?"
Just once

I wanted to say, "No, its for company!"

I' ve thought....
about those employment applications and that blank

that always ask who
is to be notified in case of an emergency. I think
you should write.... Good Doctor!



I've always wondered ....
why they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we
supposed to

do .. . write to these men? Why don't they
just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look


for them while they deliver the mail?

I thought ....
about being rich and it don't mean so much Just look at

Henry Ford, all
those millions and he never owned a Cadillac!I If you
jogged backward ... would you gain weight?



I wonder...
what you call a pocket calculator in a nudist camp?

I wonder...
if Adam ever said to Eve,

"Watch it! There are plenty more ribs where
you came from!"

I have decided...
that Nostalgia is the VCR of

our minds.

I have noticed...
when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you? But when you put him
in a car

he sticks his head out the window!

I'm not into working out! My philosophy: No pain,no pain.

Have you ever

noticed.... Anybody going slower than you is an idiot,and
anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I think the

reason most people play golf is to wear clothes they would
not be caught dead in otherwise. I'm desperately trying


to figure out why Kamikaze pilots wore helmets