Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

Edit: Moderator: Moved from General

Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

AL GORE
I invented the chicken!

GEORGE W. BUSH
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know
if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either
against us or for us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of
the chicken crossing the road.

JOHN KERRY
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road I am now against it!

RALPH NADER
The chicken's habitat on the other side of the road had been polluted by
unchecked industrial greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat
on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a
gas-guzzling SUV.

PAT BUCHANAN
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

RUSH LIMBAUGH
I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting
a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet that somebody out there
is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road
syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can real Americans
take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars. And when I
say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the government took
from you to build a road for chickens to cross.

MARTHA STEWART
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a
standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price
dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

JERRY FALWELL
Because the chicken was gay --- isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the
plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the ''other
side.' That's what they call it the other side.Yes, my friends, that
chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say
we boycott all chickens until we sort out this
abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless
phrases like "the other side."

DR. SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the
chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die in the rain. Alone.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without
having their motives called into question.

GRANDPA
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us
the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the
chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it
experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish it's life
long dream of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together -- in peace.

ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX It was an historic inevitability.

CAPTAIN KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has ever gone before.

SIGMUND FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road
reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES
I have just witnessed eChicken2003, which will not only cross roads, but
will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook,
-- and internet explorer is an integral part of eChicken.

ALBERT EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the
chicken?

BILL CLINTON
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

THE BIBLE
And God came down from heaven, and he said unto the chicken THOU SHALt
CROSS THE ROAD. And the chicken didst cross the road, and there was
much rejoicing.

COLONEL SANDERS
Did I miss one?