Thu 3 Apr, 2014 03:51 pm
I received this letter today in my box at school. I'm in a nursing program so we have these boxes that professors and doctors put our clinical assignments in, and today I found this in it. I'm not sure how to feel about it and I'm hoping somebody on here can give me some advice on what to do. It's a little long so prepare for a lengthy post. Sorry!
"We've only met once. Well, I was privy to your name, and we talked for a bit, but you were incredibly busy leading my group and might not have noticed my name tag. Nevertheless, for some mysterious reason, you have not left my mind since our encounter. Which is why I write this letter; to place these thoughts I've been feeling some place where they will not continue to distract me and generate hopeless feelings of an unfulfilled desire. Firstly, what I have come to define as what I feel for you is not love. I believe love ignites when two peoples' feelings coalesce and produce a beautiful, powerful elation never to extinguish. That is not the circumstance here. Nor would I characterize my feelings as lust, for I have no inclination to engage in lustful acts with somebody I do not share love with, or even much less know. I describe my feelings here as: desire. I desire to bring joy to your life, and such a privilege would gleefully invigorate my life as well.
A llarge portion of who I am consists of happily providing support, comfort, and laughter to those around me, and while I have never asked or expected anything in return, these acts have led to a few good friendships. One of those friendships developed into romance that extended to the precipice of love, but I failed my duty as an honest boyfriend by fabricating and embellishing many details about myself to appear grander than I actually was. It was a selfish act performed out of a notion of self-esteem deficiency. Ultimately, in the end, my abhorrence for selfishness weighed too heavily on my heart to allow the relationship to blossom into a loving continuance. I ended the relationship, despite my will to remain, because I felt I didn't deserve to love this wonderful girl under a pseudo-image, and it would be a greater disservice to her if her best relationship was a shining experience gilded over a smudge of mistruths. After that, I set out on a personal journey to improve my self-esteem, and become the person that existed as a vessel in my imagination. Then I wouldn't have to make up superficial details about myself to feel confident in who I am. Somehow, you've become my Muse in this pursuit.
You are an enchantingly beautiful young woman. I imagine you've heard this throughout your life, but that certainly doesn't make it any less true. I also imagine it would be a lie if I told myself there aren't a number of guys looking to sweep you off your feet. A person's inner beauty is not only reflected through their outward appearance, but also, most importantly, through their personality. Your personality is a unique beauty that has to attract the attention of a vast array of gentlemen, and it's a weighted desire within me to be the gentleman who's your spring of happiness and illuminates your inner beauty through to the surface. I am aware it must be awfully presumptuous and overall creepy that I would present these feelings having only met you once, but those three days I witnessed your presence was the most delightful experience of meeting somebody new that has ever befallen before me.
It is not my intention to frighten or "weird" you out in this letter, even though it is probably creepy, or at the very least bizarre, receiving something like this. Especially since I have no idea if you will ever see this letter. I can better express myself in written words, and I often write down what's eating at my brain to alleviate the weight it bears on my stress. This is a product of that exercise, but it could also find its way to your hands on day; how, I am absolutely clueless. Nor is it my intention to infringe on any relationship you may be happily committed to presently. That would be inconsiderate and unspeakably rude of me, and I apologize profusely if I appear to have done so. I simply have reached the point where I can no longer afford to have these thoughts ricochet through my head every time I try to push them away.
I've left our next encounter to the determination of God's will multiple times, but I often struggle with acquiescence in doing do when feelings are this strong. I always place my faith in The Almighty that He will provide what is best for us all, however humanistic greed for control often clashes with the selfless act of faith, and in that clash I often wish His will is that I would be what or who was best for you. I cannot make that decision though, obviously.
Please don't think I have any intention of pursuing you like a crazed fan pursues locks of hair from their favorite celebrity. I assure you I am not some lunatic who creates shrines of his infatuations in his bedroom, and decorates it with newspaper clips, surreptitiously snapped photographs of the aforementioned infatuation, and a small radio humming a looped tune of "I'll be there" sitting next to it. That's not my angle here, and I am way too shy and down to earth (if you can believe) to risk the embarrassing exposure in that endeavor. Plus, that's just creepy; more so than in any capacity this letter can be taken... at least I hope so!
Should some fortunate gentleman secure your heart, I do hope he enjoys bringing you happiness, and that such enjoyment never vacates his spirit. However, if you ever find yourself single, and we by chance run in to each other, I hope to spark your interest, bring you ceaseless laughter, and finally feel comfortable honestly sharing myself with somebody."
He signed it but it's an odd name and I can't find it on Facebook. I'm not sure if it's his real name or a pen name or something. Anywho he seems nice and all but I'm not sure what to make of this. Some help would be nice lol.
Personally, I would be creeped out.
Seriously. To me, it sounds stalkerish, like someone who can't relate to people. Maybe I'm just a cynic, but this is rubbing me the wrong way, big time.
He seems well educated and very honest, at least to me. I think you sholudn't be worried, he just found you very delightful.
Educated has nothing to do with odd or strange, or having exceptionally poor social skills. I think the individual is taking liberties that should only be taken when a close personal relationship has been established. Sounds creepy to me.
Sounds like a highly educated East Indian.
Have anyone in mind?
Wow, Punkey...you're nailing down to ethnicity . I'm impressed. You're probably right...I haven't dated in 22 years..LOL. Still if a guy were to approach me in this manner, hopefully I wouldn't have to do a study .