Reply
Mon 31 Mar, 2014 11:58 pm
Hi,
I am an Indian girl, 27, married for a year, hubby is 31, four years elder to me. I had an arranged marriage, I knew that husband lived & worked in Singapore, I live in India. I had spoken to my husband a few times before marriage on the phone or Skype, & met him a few times before marriage.
After marriage, husband only wanted to have sex some two times a week, mostly on weekends, there were a few weeks when he wanted sex just once a week.
After marriage I moved to Singapore, & his parents too came to settle us in for three weeks. While his parents were around we barely had any sex, although they had their separate room & we had complete privacy in our room.
Husband would come back from work around 6.45 to 7.30 but would mostly not have any sex, he'd want to go watch a movie, eat out or even if we had dinner at home, he'd go to sleep in front of the TV, he claimed this is what he'd done in his bachelor days.He also claims that his friends too only have sex during the weekends, but his friends have been married for 4+ years & most are home only during the weekends as they're Consultants.We have a three bedroom condo with complete privacy.
Right after marriage my husband told me that it was very essential I find some proper job in Singapore as he wants to do a full time MBA & would try for INSEAD Singapore or American B Schools & be off to USA for two years & he wanted to come back to Singapore & job hunt on my Dependent Pass. I was shocked to hear this, as before marriage, husband & family had given us the impression that they're very against long distance relationships & also cancelled a girl's alliance who wanted a long distance relationship for just a year for job reasons.
He tried for INSEAD for the September 2014 batch & was rejected, he's now reapplying to INSEAD for the January 2015 batch & wants to apply to other US B Schools as well.
My husband is very particular about his appearance, he has a lot of products like different face & body washes, perfumes etc (one of his friends' wives used to tease him that he has more products than he does), he's got a hair weaving done in Singapore as he was balding, he checks out his hair in the mirror all the time. I've sometimes felt by some of his mannerisms & his smile that its a bit unmanly but then he's very narrow shouldered & lanky panky so I can't be sure.
He is also facing career stagnation & no pay rise for two years in Singapore-his friends in Singapore make 2.5 times what he does(they also work much harder btw), he's obsessed with living in Singapore, his application for PR has been rejected thrice-could his lack of interest in sex & writing MBA applications etc be due to stress & peer pressure or due to gay/bi/asexual tendencies?
Btw, I'm considered very beautiful by most people, my husband also said that he married me because he considers me so pretty & to the best of my knowledge, he doesn't have any past relationships(neither do I btw).
Could be. Even if he's not in love, I'd expect a guy of 31 to sex with just about anything that moves given the chance.
He seems self absorbed and really not in love with you.
You must get out of this farce of a marriage or it will kill your spirit.
Tell your parents that he does not take care of you - he isn't in so many ways.
Then do what you have to do to get free.