Men Do Change With and In Marriage

Reply Wed 26 Mar, 2014 10:40 am
Why do people always ask you “was he like that BEFORE you got married”? That question always piss me off. Of course he was not perfect when I married him and he was abusive verbally at times, but NOT to the degree he is now. So asking that question has nothing to do with what I’m discussing with them. They feel that you made your bed, now lay in it. He was like this to the DEGREE he is now. Why do people do that? People do change in the course of marriage.
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Reply Wed 26 Mar, 2014 11:09 am
They are asking what his CHARACTER was before he was married (in his younger days)

A person's character gets more exaggerated as they get older. He was always like he is today, only not as severe.
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Reply Sat 29 Mar, 2014 02:59 pm
+1 to Punkey's post. They are also asking 'didn't you see the warning signs'.

The difference for many men:

- they try harder to be on their best behaviour when just boyfriend


- the deeper they get into marriage, the less they feel they have to try

In other words, if they are verbally abusive, it will only increase with marriage. This is so common an occurrence with abusive men that it is pretty much cliche.

All of the above isn't of course, true of all men.
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