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please read and help.

 
 
Reply Sun 16 Mar, 2014 04:25 am
Okay I have a very confusing situation with a guy, and I need yur help.
this guys in class ever since I spoke to him, I have seen him doing :

he stares at me
he will glance at me
act like i dont exist when im near him
walk with his head down while crossing me
sometimes will greet me, will be really happy to see me
gets really nervous
looks at me while i talk to other guys
make stupid small talk with me
gives random details of himself
if we get comfortable, few days later it gets very awkward again
its like we talk in silence, he would totally ignore me if in infront of him and not even look at me, even though we are friends and he should not act like this,
if we cross each other in the hallway and we make eye contact he will greet me almost always

recently I have been hanging out with a couple of other people and guys

he asked for my number recently and when I messaged him my number on his number, he did not respond for 3 days and when we finally spoke he disappeared again.

ps I'm the only girl he talks to there. its not like hes super shy he has friends outside the institution and hes very confident with them....

i like this guy, but what is he up to?
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Type: Question • Score: 4 • Views: 720 • Replies: 17
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Ragman
 
  2  
Reply Sun 16 Mar, 2014 08:08 am
@firstgirl,
Why not ask him? No one here can accurately tell you what's in his mind or heart. An outsider's speculation wouldn't help you at all. Clearly by your own words he's either shy and/or not ready YET to pursue a relationship.
panzade
 
  1  
Reply Sun 16 Mar, 2014 08:11 am
@firstgirl,
As a guy I recognize all the signs of a school-boy crush.
firstgirl
 
  1  
Reply Sun 16 Mar, 2014 08:40 am
@panzade,
actually i am way older.
0 Replies
 
firstgirl
 
  1  
Reply Sun 16 Mar, 2014 08:42 am
@Ragman,
actually i am really confused, and he is just shy or weird like that with me. but he has female friends outside, I dont understand why he would act like this
0 Replies
 
PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Sun 16 Mar, 2014 03:58 pm
You are "way older" and he has a crush on you.

It's quite simple: He is fascinated and intimidated by you at the same time. You even gave him your number, yet he failed to act on that.

I hope you can see he's just too shy or immature to have a real relationship with you. If you are waiting for an assertive, mature man, this guy is not that.

Sorry - come back in about 5 years.
firstgirl
 
  1  
Reply Sun 16 Mar, 2014 04:09 pm
@PUNKEY,
actually he gave me his number first without me even asking for it ( he asked me for my number indirectly) and when I went back after lunch I messaged him on it. but he disappeared after having a small conversation, i thought that was a red flag.
Ragman
 
  1  
Reply Sun 16 Mar, 2014 09:41 pm
@firstgirl,
Just out of curiosity, how old are you and how old is he? you mentioned institution, so does that mean college?
firstgirl
 
  0  
Reply Mon 17 Mar, 2014 02:31 am
@Ragman,
yes im 21 and hes 26
PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Mon 17 Mar, 2014 10:45 am
I thought you said "I am way older."

I really thought you two were about 15 and 17 or something.

He's really an immature 26 year old - or he's just teasing you.


firstgirl
 
  2  
Reply Mon 17 Mar, 2014 11:23 am
@PUNKEY,
is it possible that he may just be indifferent about me? even today I caught him glance at me twice
0 Replies
 
Ragman
 
  1  
Reply Mon 17 Mar, 2014 11:53 am
@firstgirl,
In that case, how can you be older?

From the way you have described it, you both sound like high-school age.
firstgirl
 
  1  
Reply Mon 17 Mar, 2014 12:10 pm
@Ragman,
hahah well im older than a high school kid. and this is the situation,
0 Replies
 
CoastalRat
 
  2  
Reply Mon 17 Mar, 2014 12:14 pm
@Ragman,
I got it all figured out using my giant brain. When she said she was way older, she was trying to say that it could not be a school girl crush because she is much older than school girl age. She was not referring to her and this guy's relative age.

I think this whole thing is in her imagination. Every time she looks at him, he is looking at her? Right. He probably catches a glimpse of her staring at him and naturally looks. I think she has a crush on him and is projecting all this other stuff to imagine he is also interested.

Quote:
even today I caught him glance at me twice
I would only worry if he glances at you 3 times. Any less than 3 simply means he thinks you are very strange looking. Did your clothes match? Were your breasts hanging out? That might make me glance at you a couple of times. Look, if you are really interested in him, just go talk to him. If he doesn't man up and ask you out, either write him off or ask him out if you really want to explore a relationship with him. Otherwise, forget about him and be watching for the next guy that glances at you.

firstgirl
 
  1  
Reply Mon 17 Mar, 2014 12:22 pm
@CoastalRat,
hahaha, its not my imagination, because my friends also think he is super awkward around me, and they all have caught him glance at me everyday, so its more then just 3 times, and today I made slight eye contact twice, because i looked back to talk to my friend and there he was standing.
CoastalRat
 
  2  
Reply Mon 17 Mar, 2014 01:37 pm
@firstgirl,
And you're sure your breasts weren't hanging out? Not even a little? Cause really, other than that, I can't imagine him glancing at you repeatedly without stuttering out an invite for coffee, or dinner and a movie, or a walk in the park or whatever.

Just do me a favor. Next time you catch him glancing at you, check to make sure your puppies are not showing. Just for safety's sake. And if they aren't, then for pete's sake just walk right over to him and tell him you have noticed his repeated glances toward you and you would really appreciate it if he would either get up the courage to ask you out or stop glancing at you all the time because it is freaking you out. What guy could resist that ultimatum?





firstgirl
 
  1  
Reply Mon 17 Mar, 2014 02:29 pm
@CoastalRat,
actually from where i come from its a conservative atmosphere. guys and girls cant just walk right up to each other and ask each other out..............
so its a problem, and where we go, we have our own separate group . i hang out with my girls he hangs out in his guys, and there is not much communication between our groups... so I assume maybe that is why he is unable to work up the courage to ask me out. however he did ask for my number himself without me even saying anything which is pointless too because he wont text
panzade
 
  1  
Reply Mon 17 Mar, 2014 03:02 pm
@firstgirl,
When I lived in rural Spain the young men would stroll on one side of the street and the young women on the other.
As they passed by they would flirt and look longingly at one another.

Without knowing your culture it's difficult to ascertain what your fella is feeling.
0 Replies
 
 

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