5
   

What should I do about my family situation?

 
 
Reply Mon 3 Mar, 2014 06:46 pm
Sorry this is so long,
My parents recently kicked me out (although to hear them say it, they weren't kicking me out at all). Apparently, my attitude was to blame, as well as they wanted me to pay 300 dollars in rent. 300 dollars, to share a room with my 10 year old sister (being 19) . I still had all the responsibilities of the house like cleaning it, watching my sister, taking care of the dogs, cooking, etc.
I also pay for my own college books, anything related to personal hygiene, hair, clothes, food (when I'm in college/away from home, or days that no cooking is done), my phone bill, my credit accounts, (bus/cab) transportation, and anything I want to do. As far as anything wrong I would do, I admit having an attitude occasionally when stressed or frustrated, but it only got worse she kept telling me that I had about 3 weeks to move out or pay 300 in rent (which I could not afford at the time). I did work at the time, but i was only getting 4-15 hour shifts a week.

. I decided to leave on my own instead of pay rent and live with my friend. It got a lot harder for me to live. I ran my credit bills really high, and I barely ate, and if I did, I ate fast food. I thought I could live on my own, but after 3 months I moved back home, desperate for a home cooked meal. In the middle of January right after I moved in, my VS job stopped giving me hours for 2 weeks, so I quit. I've been actively searching for over a month, I've had interviews, but no luck so far.

My mom wants me to still pay 300, not including food cost or anything else. She said I have to pay her regardless of me not having a job, and that she doesn't "care about my bills". I am told I can not hang out with my friends after school (I'm in college mind you). The days I'm home I'm expected to clean the house "top to bottom". She even says that that I need to clean it like a "5 star hotel". I'm expected to be home by 12am regardless of the day, I usually have to ask days in advance to hang out with my friends. When she brought a German Shepherd puppy home in August (which only she and my sister knew about) she kept insisting it was "my dog" too and I have to feed him everyday and take him out, including our 12 year old Llasha Apso. She is constantly telling me she isn't benefiting from me living there and I should leave if I don't like it. Since I've been working for a year she's also taking my tax refund as well.

She also paid 6 thousand towards a loan for a university that she made me go to, but she complains about it every single time, and blocks out the fact that she was trying to get it in my name, but it didn't work. I said for her to to cancel it and let me go to community college, but both my parent's didn't want me to and wanted me to go to the university because they gave me a scholarship. (since I didn't get more scholarships I went to community college anyways the next year, I didn't want to spend my life searching for money when I could basically go to community college for free)

Also, my brother, who is 18 (still in high school) doesn't contribute to anything, doesn't clean, has an attitude, and expects to be picked up from work every night (6 nights a week at around 11pm). He smokes too, even in the house but never seems to get caught. He has had a whole summer of disrespect and even altercations between my parents but he's still allowed to do nothing. He is even out right now on a school night hanging with his friends, not coming home to clean up. But my parents helped him get his permit, and pretty much a free car (he only has to pay 2500 for damages then its "like brand new"). He just got a job about the time I moved in, and he makes really good money. My parents felt because it was easy for him to get a job, then I should get one too easily. Even when they tell him to do something he usually ignores it, they claim that they're sick of his behavior and everything but only have 2 minutes talks with him or don't mention it at all.

My younger cousin who is 16 has gotten arrested, picked fights, smokes a lot, sent to an alternative school, does no chores, and back talks my parents. He usually goes to his mothers house, but even she doesn't want to deal with him. Yet my parents always encourage him to talk to then and say how much they "support him". My other cousin, was sexually active and caused a lot of problems throughout high school, in addition to being lazy before she left the house.

My 10 year old sister, I share a room with, and she never gets spankings, or really any punishments. She has phone, laptop, and a tablet, and a lot of name brand specialty items. She screams at my parents and still has tantrums, and whenever my parents say something she says "oh well" and "whatever" and "I don't care". I have to do what she wants and she never listens to me ever.

Are my parents/mom in the wrong, or am I? What kind of way should I approach my mom about being more easy on me especially on the rent?
  • Topic Stats
  • Top Replies
  • Link to this Topic
Type: Question • Score: 5 • Views: 2,081 • Replies: 6
No top replies

 
Romeo Fabulini
 
  2  
Reply Mon 3 Mar, 2014 06:54 pm
You're 19 and not a kid any more, so move out of that madhouse and get a place of your own to enjoy the peace and quiet..Wink
0 Replies
 
Germlat
 
  2  
Reply Mon 3 Mar, 2014 07:13 pm
@williamsmalerie94,
Sounds like you resent not being able to still be given liberties as a child....time to grow up !!
0 Replies
 
PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Mon 3 Mar, 2014 08:19 pm
Sounds like there is a lot of history here and we are hearing just your side.

The way to solve this is to move out.

But remember: ANYWHERE you live they will require that you keep things clean, help out with chores, and keep normal household hours.

0 Replies
 
Linkat
 
  1  
Reply Tue 4 Mar, 2014 06:52 am
@williamsmalerie94,
I don't even think it is a matter of right or wrong. It is a matter of what choices do you have.

You can comply with your parents wishes (they own the house so they can set the rules while you live there).

Or you can find another place to live.

The other alternative is to maybe negotiate with your parents. What I would suggest is this. Get a written list of what your parents expect from you. Look them over and come to a compromise. But be reasonable. Consider the fact that if you lived on your own what you need to do and pay for --- for example you would need to pay rent (what would rent cost you -- then considering you share a room and you don't get a whole apartment what is a reasonable price for that); consider the fact that you would need to clean your place, buy your own food and utilities, etc. Add that all in -- if you are low on cash see if you could do extra work around the house to make up the difference.

If you show you are understanding on their side, perhaps they will see you are acting more adult and responsible and they will be more willing to compromise as well. Write everything down so there is no confusion and so both sides understand the expectations and sign.
0 Replies
 
TamikaSerrato
 
  0  
Reply Thu 22 May, 2014 04:11 am
@williamsmalerie94,
You are not a child now. You should do try for a good job for earning money. Grow up buddy. Now its not your parents responsibility to take care of you. You can also try to get some loan for establishing your own business.
0 Replies
 
FOUND SOUL
 
  1  
Reply Thu 22 May, 2014 04:53 pm
@williamsmalerie94,
Stop looking at it as money.

Out of all the siblings, it's you that she expected the most out of in life, the career, getting somewhere.. It's called tough love.

Quote:
She also paid 6 thousand towards a loan for a university that she made me go to, but she complains about it every single time, and blocks out the fact that she was trying to get it in my name, but it didn't work. I said for her to to cancel it and let me go to community college, but both my parent's didn't want me to and wanted me to go to the university because they gave me a scholarship. (since I didn't get more scholarships I went to community college anyways the next year, I didn't want to spend my life searching for money when I could basically go to community college for free)


Correction. She "wanted" you to go to, to get somewhere in life, to never have to struggle or worry about money or how to find $300 a month RENT for your new place that you would have had.

You didn't get more scholarships because you didn't want to, you don't want to you don't see yourself as they saw you, hoped for. You're opting always for what is free.

Community college is free.
Going back home you thought would be free, given you aren't working.
You opted to go back home, missing home cooked meals for free.
Your credit card is maxed and you have no free cash.

What should you do? Get out there get a job, study hard work out where you are going in life, help with the rent because it's teaching you about your future responsibilities in life.

Or, be a loser and always look for free things and have nothing.
0 Replies
 
 

Related Topics

 
  1. Forums
  2. » What should I do about my family situation?
Copyright © 2022 MadLab, LLC :: Terms of Service :: Privacy Policy :: Page generated in 0.06 seconds on 07/03/2022 at 02:25:31