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my friend is retarded??

 
 
Reply Mon 24 Feb, 2014 03:26 am
I have a friend,i've known for a couple of years now..he's 29 years old. He acts like a moron...If i dont tell him he's looking great EVERY day he gets hurt....if i dont say im proud of him,he gets hurt....if i dont say i love----> hurt!! he whines everyday that no ones loves him and no one accepts him. I got pissed,i feel like i have a retarded son i have to take care off...i come online to have fun,not to listen to him whine every hour. its too much for me...i had a fight with him about that....now he says i was better before,and that now i get mad easily...he asked if it was cause i stopped taking my anti depressants...which is low of him to say cause i stopped 2 years ago. What would YOU do if you were in my shoes? I'm 25 years old.
 
relationshippro
 
  -3  
Reply Mon 24 Feb, 2014 05:37 am
@sophiaxrose,
same thing happened to me except i was in your best friends position, like i started hanging with this other girl, then i went all crazy to make her feel crappy but if you guys are truly best friends, you'll be friends with that person again. i'm friends with that person now.
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jespah
 
  4  
Reply Mon 24 Feb, 2014 07:21 am
@sophiaxrose,
Stop wasting your time with whiny losers who take and don't give back anything in the relationship.
tsarstepan
 
  3  
Reply Mon 24 Feb, 2014 07:57 am
@sophiaxrose,
Clearly he's very emotionally mature and needy. Probably has some parent issues to boot. Give him an ultimatum. Tell him to get help from a therapist or counselor (if you're going to college: some people do go to college later in life so please don't bark at me for that).

He may have real issues (socially and emotionally) that he can't deal or cope with. So getting actual help is important for both him and your friendship.

Tell him if he can get help or at least tries to find a free support group if he can't afford professional group that you will have to cut your friendship ties with him for awhile.

Clearly, he needs help. Lead him to said help and if he's still stubborn in accepting said help... well... you tried. It would be up to him to move on from there.
0 Replies
 
Anyday
 
  1  
Reply Fri 15 Aug, 2014 12:04 pm
@sophiaxrose,
I didn't get it, you're 25 years old and you have a 29 year old son?
tsarstepan
 
  1  
Reply Fri 15 Aug, 2014 12:29 pm
@Anyday,
Please read what the OP has written again. Read it more carefully.

sophiaxrose wrote:

I got pissed,i feel like i have a retarded son i have to take care off...

The OP feels like she has mentally challenged son. That's not the same as claiming she has a 29 year old child.

Also, it's moot as the OP has yet to return since she posted this back in February.
glitterbag
 
  1  
Reply Fri 15 Aug, 2014 12:38 pm
@Anyday,
It's sounds like he is a bottomless well of need. I have had some friends over the years who become very dependent on anyone who try's to help or reassure them. It can become exhausting, they can suck the life out of you and seem to be oblivious of the toll it takes on their friend or friends.

I remember a relative calling once, asked me how I was doing, I said I had the worst possible days in a long time and needed to rest. They answered, yeah, I had a bad day too, then proceeded to stay on the line for 15 minutes complaining about co-workers, traffic, car trouble until I was about to slit my wrists. They never did ask me what was bad about my day. I don't know why that happens.

On the other hand, I have a good friend who I have known for decades. When our 13 year old Vizsla was gravely ill, she would call about Sadie, but she waited until we had to put her down before she told me her Aunt had terminal pancreatic cancer. I would have wanted to know, I love her family, but she was afraid it was piling on too much while we were caring for Sadie. I understood why she waited, we've all been thru some serious life threatening illnesss,, thankfully not at the same time. But that a little different than being worried that you aren't smart enough and insisting someone at their mother's funeral spend all their time propping you up.

Before anyone mentions it, I know we aren't talking about funerals, it was used as an example.
0 Replies
 
glitterbag
 
  1  
Reply Fri 15 Aug, 2014 12:40 pm
@tsarstepan,
Tsar, your right, I wish I checked the date before I posted.
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maxdancona
 
  0  
Reply Fri 15 Aug, 2014 12:49 pm
@jespah,
jespah wrote:

Stop wasting your time with whiny losers who take and don't give back anything in the relationship.


I love irony.
0 Replies
 
 

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