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Tue 20 Apr, 2004 11:08 am
Got this off a friend's webbie. Laughed my ass off.
"A first grade teacher collected well-known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. It's hard to believe these were actually done by first graders. Their insight may surprise you. While reading these keep in mind that these are first graders... "6" year-olds, because the last one is a classic!
1. Better to be safe than..................... .punch a 5th grader.
2. Strike while the ........................... bug is close.
3. It's always darkest before..................Daylight Saving Time.
4. Never underestimate the power of.........termites.
5. You can lead a horse to water but......... how?
6. Don't bite the hand that................... .looks dirty.
7. No news is................................. .impossible.
8. A miss is as good as a..................... .Mr.
9. You can't teach an old dog new.............math.
10. If you lie down with dogs, you'll...........stink in the morning.
11. Love all, trust............................. me.
12. The pen is mightier than the...............pigs.
13. An idle mind is............................. the best way to relax.
14. Where there's smoke there's............. pollution.
15. Happy the bride who........................gets all the presents.
16. A penny saved is............................not much.
17. Two's company, three's....................the Musketeers.
18. Don't put off till tomorrow what..........you put on to go to bed.
19. Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and..... you have to blow your nose.
20. There are none so blind as.................Stevie Wonder.
21. Children should be seen and not...........spanked or grounded.
22. If at first you don't succeed..............get new batteries.
23. You get out of something only what you...see in the picture on the box.
24. When the blind leadeth the blind..........get out of the way.
And the favorite:
25. Better late than........................... pregnant!!!!"
Dude, this is hilarious!!
A rolling stone gathers......... momentum
First one to complete the actual proverbs gets a ..... Big Pat on the Back! Nah. Anyway, it'll be cool to post your versions or something.
Look before you cross the street and get hit by a bus.
If at first you don't succeed, give up!
Absence makes the heart grow fonder for somebody else.
A squeaky wheel means that you need to have your car checked.
Never put off until tomorrow what you can do next week.
You're never too old to make a damn fool of yourself.
He's out of my sight. I'm out of my mind.
He who hesitates gets the subway train door slammed in his face.