@Romeo Fabulini,
Romeo Fabulini wrote:So all we can do is give it our best shot and hope we'll make the grade in God's eyes. Personally I don't give a rat's ass about the big herds of organised religion and don't run with them..
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I can understand why you would want to see Jesus as the leader of the gang and then make yourself a member. It was a crutch when you needed it to help you overcome the unforgivable disrespect you describe your father heaping upon you. Given which, I think you've done well not to end up as a mall shooter or a suicide.
I've mildly poked and prodded you over several threads now and you have yet to respond with negativity, which (impressively) is consistent with the portions of Christianity you claim to follow.
But the Bible is just a giant literary version of a rorschach test which only shows you what you want to see. Any degree of success you've achieved has come from you, not Jesus. Jesus doesn't exist, and if he ever did, he's been gone over 2000 years. Even the messages attributed to him have been so corrupted, obscured and translated over the years that they are essentially lost to time. So whatever you have achieved, you have achieved yourself. I think you should give yourself some credit and let the crutch go. I don't think you need it any more.