Please critique my short essay

Hi! I just want to ask for feedback on my essay, whether I'm using words incorrectly or my grammar is bad. I'd appreciate suggestions and advice. Thanks in advance! (I apologize for being too cheesy)

"How do I begin to become better?

I always think that self-doubt fuels us to work harder to constantly improve and evolve ourselves, but now it has become tantalizing that I start to just doubt my capabilities and that maybe I can’t really be good enough to achieve my goals in life. The future gets scarier for that matter. But then I think I’m going past that slump, that no matter how I undermine myself, I just want to keep working to do the things I wanted.

Surely the great people on earth doubted themselves as well, and I want to have just same story. To carve my way out and become greater in whatever passion I may find someday.

Since I was in highschool, I cringe so much at my own writings that I grew ashamed of them and believed that I really can’t write at all. It’s emotionally painful and discouraging to know how awful you are with something that you wish you could be great at. But writing was something in which I find some sort of peace and sanity whenever life gets tough for an awkward and introverted person like me.

I’m fascinated on how writers can strings words so beautifully that feelings can be so vivid. When they do not only put ideas and knowledge across, but they reach and move you with nothing but written words.

And that’s what I wish I can be good at."