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Thu 15 Apr, 2004 07:29 am
These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services.
1. Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.
2. Announcement in church bulletin for a national PRAYER AND FASTING Conference: The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer Conference includes meals.
3. The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon tonight: Searching for Jesus."
4. Our youth basketball team is back in action Wed. at 8 PM in the
recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
5. Ladies, Don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands.
6. The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
7. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.
8. Don't let worry kill you off-let the church help.
9. Miss Charlene Mason sang " I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
10. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
11. Next Thur. There will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
12. Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.
13. The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing: "Break Forth into Joy."
14. Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on Oct. 24th in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
15. The bean supper will be held Tues. evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
16. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
17. Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
18. Please place your donation along with the deceased person you want remembered.
19. Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch.
20. The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment and gracious hostility.
21. Potluck supper Sun. at 5:00 PM- Prayer and medication to follow.
22. The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Fri. afternoon.
23. This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn sing in the park across from the church. Bring a blanket and be prepared to sin.
24. Ladies Bible Study will be held Thur. morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
25. The Pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sun.
26. Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thur. at 7 PM. Please use back door.
27. The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Fri. at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
28. Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double doors at the side entrance.
29. The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sun: I Upped My Pledge- Up Yours.
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