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Wed 4 Dec, 2013 08:08 pm
back story.. Caught my gf cheating on Halloween.. we worked it out and had a lot of old issues worked out for both of us. She went away for work which leaves me home alone for half the month. Saturday night I went out with a couple friends for some drinks. During the night I was talking with a friend who I hadn't seen in a bit and was explaining to him what had happened on halloween. This of course lead to us joking about my current situation and being alone. This guy went behind my back and started telling my other friends (gfs best friend included) that I was looking for revenge and wanted to cheat on her (not at all true) My gfs friend messaging me the next day saying what was said and that she was going to tell her. I quickly told her the truth, but due to the situation I don't think she believes me and wants me to tell my gf what happened.
This guy is a known **** disturber, and I have no problem in telling her what happened. However, minor lies on my part has me scared. Before going out that night I told my gf I was going for a drink and then leaving. I ended up staying for 3 drinks, going to the bar for another and taking a cab home. The minor lie is that I did not tell my gf I went to the bar, as she normally gets jealous and didnt want her to think i got too drunk (i didnt) again this is a minor lie but doesnt help me at all in this sitution...
I have confronted the guy who started all this, but all he says is sorry and wont admit he is lying ( i havent spoken to him since and I also did not ask him to admit it)
Sorry for the long post, I just really don't want to screw things up. I have noone I can talk to as it is my friends doing this to me. I want to tell her what he did but I am scared. Does anyone have any serious advise for me? Please and thank you.
Be true.
(yes. It's really hard)
Joe(But do it.)Nation
@Joe Nation,
I want to be true, but what if she messages him and he doesn't deny it?
@experiencednoob,
My advice would be to tell your girlfriend what happened before she hears it from some-one else.
So what if you had 4 drinks instead of the one you said you would have. If she is going to be this jealous and upset because you went to a bar then I think you both still have a lot of issues to work out.
@cherrie,
she is going to be more upset that I lied about it rather then be jealous that I did do it. This is the kind of issues we worked out back at halloween, I made the mistake of lying this time around.. very very stupid of me. I was trying to deal with old gf compared to the new that we are trying to start.
Relationships ought not to have a hair-trigger. Stop being afraid. Say what happened, if she doesn't believe you, you are better off not being anywhere near her.
Joe(just breath, tell the truth)Nation
@experiencednoob,
It sounds like you are constantly walking on eggshells, trying not to do anything that might upset her. That sounds like a lot of hard work to me, especially if she is going to be as upset as you think she is over such a small thing.
@cherrie,
I don't think so, it's more both of us trying to start new. We have both done wrong in different ways. We have been together for 6 years now, and I just don't want this to be the final straw over my stupid lie. I don't want the big picture of what has happened to be forgotten or ignored over the similar but still happened lie.
I have to tell her what has happened no doubt about that as it will come up in future conversations, I just don't know how to prevent the above from happening.
@experiencednoob,
I don't really have any more advice for you, except to tell her soon, and be ready to deal with the fallout.
I hope it all goes well for you, and that she doesn't over-react.
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