Please read and improve my essay

I know that I am very very poor at writing. Please tell me how can I improve this essay. (I have written this essay as a practice for TOEFL)
How is luck related to success?
While hard work and determination have a direct influence on how successful we will be, luck definitely has its own share in doing so. If we look closely into the life of some very successful people, we will find that beside their talent and the efforts that they have put in, luck has also played a major role in determining their fate. This is exemplified by the lives of the superstar of Bollywood, Amitabh Bacchan and of Sachin Tendulkar, probably the greatest cricketer of all time.
Amitabh Bachhan dominated the Indian cinema for more than two decades. He comes from a non-filmy background and in cinemas, it is very difficult for such a person to earn a name in the industry. Initially, he was not getting any films, despite of his great caliber. However, a film 'Janjeer', which he got by luck, transformed his whole life. He rose from a junior artist to become a lead artist and rest all is history.
Another example which shows the importance of luck is from the life of god of cricket, Sachin Tendulkar. When he was 13 years old and practicing at a ground, luckily he caught the attention of a cricket coach. He was deeply impressed by his batting and decided to coach him. The result of 3 years of coaching was that at the age of 16 years, he became a part of the national team. He stayed there for 24 years, which is no less than a miracle in a country like India with such a fierce competition. This feat also can't be fully accredited to his talent. Sometimes even after performing poorly, he was lucky that he didn't lost his spot. The culmination of luck and hard work produced the heights of what a man can achieve.
In conclusion, we can clearly see that luck does play an important role in the life of every successful man.
(Please don't check the authenticity of the examples)