"Once those bobbies were lapping up their fish and chips".......
Are you sure they weren't on bicycles two by two?
You Sir, are an idiot. I suspect the nearest you've ever been to Reading is when you looked it up on google earth.
Reading is a place in Berkshire, pronounced redding, if anyone wonders.....about ten miles down the road from The Queen in Windsor, and a few miles from an aged Aunt of mine in Slough.
Slough always smells of chocolate, as it is home to a massive Mars factory.
Here endeth the travelogue.