Please help me move on :(

I agree that you really shouldn't tell the fiancée.

And now, good for you for blocking his contact info but you need, now, to stop creeping him on Facebook or any other place where you can see/find him. I am hoping that you don't work together. If you do, then this is tougher.

If you work together, you'll need to find ways to avoid him. It doesn't help to see where he sits, pictures on his desk, where he eats or whatever. If you do not work together, then at least stay away from places where you met or ran into each other. Don't tempt fate. Don't accidentally on purpose go to the old familiar places. Don't just so happen to be in the neighborhood. Just ... don't.

And in the meantime, you need to occupy yourself differently. 'Tis the season and there are tons of opportunities to volunteer. Elderly folks in nursing homes are far more lonely than you are. They'd LOVE some company around the holidays. Bring books and read aloud, maybe a classic like Jane Eyre? Animal shelters can get full. Can you foster a dog or a cat where you live? If not, you can volunteer to help out. Those places always need someone to walk the dogs, feed the cats, clean the bunny cages, etc. There are soup kitchens, of course, where people have some truly horrific troubles. They need people to serve, cook and clean up.

If volunteering's not your bailiwick, then try the gym. This time of year in the Northern Hemisphere can be depressing, as we lose sunlight, the air gets dry and the temperatures dip. So work out inside! Exercising is proven to be a great mood lifter. And it'll be even better for you in May when the warmer weather is back and you find you want to wear less.

That doesn't work? Try being creative. Do you knit? Bake? Write poetry? Dance? Or revitalize your hobbies. Perhaps you've got scrapbooking that you've set aside, or photography or pottery or whatever. And if you can find groups of people who enjoy the same things as you (try Meetup http://www.meetup.com/) then it's even better.

The common threads in all of these things I'm suggesting are that they occupy your time and most of them bring you outside of yourself. It can be very, very tempting to just sit at home alone, weeping and listening to Adele. Or you can be proactive, and do something good for yourself, or for the community.

These are also places where you can meet people. Some of them will be single men, or they will be people who know single men.

Now, don't go into volunteering especially, or working out, assuming that someone else will come around and will sweep you off your feet. That's a lot less likely than the movies would have you believe. But it can happen. But, even if it doesn't, even if all you do is feed some hungry people or walk a few dogs or keep a senior company for a few hours or begin lifting 150 pounds, any or all of those things should spell to you that you are a worthwhile person, Louise, and you deserve better, and this guy isn't worth the time you've already spent thinking about him.

Go and be awesome.

Sorry to be tough love, but: there's really no choice, is there?

He has chosen another woman and you must accept that. What's harder to accept is that the "love" you thought you had with this guy was not as strong as the love he has for this woman. Otherwise, he would be with you.

I'd rather you be angry than so sad. Remember he used you, cheated with you, and left you abruptly.

That's the kind of guy he is.

Yeah it's true. I suppose he did use me in the end as he's not with me. Even though I was the one who left it actually makes no odds.

I must have lower self esteem than I thought to still be sad crying over it. It hurts to come 2nd .

We don't work together anymore and I never have to see him.

Sorry to be brutal. But as one who went through the same exact thing, the only thing that saved me was thinking this way.

Make a list of things that were right with the relationship and things you won't miss. That exercise also made me see reality.

There's nothing like the rush of being in love. You have to go out there and find the same kind of excitement - only this time a little wiser!