How do I find my dad?

Forums: Relationships, Family, Skip Tracing, Search For Father
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Hey, I was wondering if anyone was in the same boat I am in. When I was 8 years old my mum told me the person I had been calling Dad wasn't my real Dad and that my real Dad was married to someone else and had a daughter. About a week or 2 ago I found the girl (my sister) on facebook and told her she was in fact my half sister, she finally got back to me a day later after letting the shock of it all sink in and said that she was sorry and that she can't say anything to her dad (also my dad) because she's scared it will ruin her family and that they must of not told her anything about me for a reason, but i can still talk to her. I know the where abouts they are living but I don't know the exact house or street. I am finding the whole situation extremely aggravating because I just want to say to her TELL YOUR DAD, DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG I'VE BEEN SEARCHING?! obviously I haven't lol as I don't want t scare her off, so I thought I'll just have to continue on my own trying to find him without letting up that his daughter (my sister) knows about me. Another thing that's really getting to me is that my Mother keeps telling me that my Uncle (my real Dads brother) drinks in the pub she works in but hasn't asked him or told him I'm looking for my Dad and the man i call Dad is saying the area he lives in and said he probably knows people that know where he live but yet he hasn't asked them! It's like no one wants me to find him! Don't tell me things if your not going to help! I've tried phone books NO LUCK. I think I might give up lol.

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Type: Question • Score: 4 • Views: 1,622 • Replies: 11

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Why do you want to find your real dad?

1 Reply

@Romeo Fabulini,

because i have a right to know where ive come from

1 Reply

Yeah but it could get messy, I mean it could upset a lot of people if you dig up the past.

0 Replies

@TiinyCC92,

TiinyCC92 wrote:

because i have a right to know where ive come from

No you don't. That sounds quite reasonable, but you have nothing to stand upon for you to start making demands. If anything, you are to 'Honor thy Father' and respect his desire for anonymity. With rights come responsibility. If you find your real Dad as being in need, are you going to take responsibility and come to his aid? Even if he is being irresponsible, that doesn't give you a pass. I know this is cold, but my advice is do not go where you're not welcome.

2 Replies

@Jack of Hearts,

I strongly disagree. The OP has every right to know where he or she is from.

The father has legal and moral responsibilities to meet the needs (including emotional needs) of his offspring. The child has no responsibility to worry about the emotional needs of the father.

That being said, I think that you should be very sensitive to the half-sister. It isn't her fault or responsibility and I think you should do everything you can to protect her right to not be involved.

I wish you the best of luck in this difficult situation. I do hope that you have a good relationship with the man who raised you.

1 Reply

@TiinyCC92,

92, have uyou considered Googling

1 Reply

@Jack of Hearts,

every child has a right to know where they've come from and im not making demands i just want some closure, i wouldnt even want a relationship with him if he didnt want to i just have questions to ask, whats wrong with that?

0 Replies

@maxdancona,

oh gosh no im not pressuring her into anything like that i said its fair enough that she doesnt want to say anything to 'our' dad, i talk to her all the time now just general chit chat Smile

0 Replies

@dalehileman,

i just wouldnt know where to start if i googled it! lol. i tried genes reunited but you have to pay to see records and stuff and with it coming up to christmas and having a child i cant really afford to go mad with money lol

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I knew my dad and lived with him and my mum in the family home for many years, he was an evil-minded little ****.
But suppose he'd run off when I was a baby, and i decided to track him down when I grew up in the hope that he was a nice, kind human being.
Instead I'd find out that he was a little ****!
That's why I say think twice before tracking down your parents.
I mean, if they walked out on you when you were a kid and made no attempt to stay in touch with you, you sure as hell don't want to get in touch with them!
To put it bluntly, they didn't want you, so why should you want them?

1 Reply

@Romeo Fabulini,

my mum said he was a really nice man, and ive been told by the man i call dad that hes a good guy just that my real dad didnt believe i was his because my mum well.. you know :/

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How do I find my dad?

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