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Can I get her back? I don't have any hope

 
 
Ek1985
 
Reply Sun 17 Nov, 2013 02:39 am
So basically, my ex fiance and I just broke up after 2 and a half years of on and off relationship. We were engaged 5 months after we started talking but her father backed out due to some minor religious difference which my ex didn't agree with her father either. After her father backed out, we looked for other means to get married but I didn't man up coz my family wasn't happy anymore since they felt disrespected due to the broken engagement. We come from traditional background with traditional thinking, and consider both of ourselves as very traditional and old school. During our relationship, there was an abundance of fights, which even led her to slap me twice and third time when she did, I slapped her back. Since that day, it ended up being manipulated as "I beat her" and I am abusive. There were also times when I bad-mouthed her family after she put me through hell. Basically after this on and off, we never lost our love for each other, however due to pressure from work and health, I told her I can't check on her all the time coz we are just friends and she shouldn't expect more than that from me, but I said that coz she felt that I am dragging her on. She was hurt by what I said but asked to remain friends and be there for her, and I agreed to it. For past couple of weeks, I got really busy and wasn't able to check on her constantly, so she just decided to move on. I discovered coz we were having coffee last Sunday and she was talking differently. I started feeling something wasn't right and discovered that I am losing her so I freaked out and told her I'll do anything to marry her, but now she said "too late". And now she wants to find herself, and be herself again coz the relationship has changed her. I wrote her a letter and gave her flowers next day which she accepted and she thought letter should be framed since it was that good. But then I asked her to remain friends since I was there for her too but she turned that down too saying "I can't do it and I am a jacked up person for that but I can't put myself in that position again". I got upset at her and first she said that I should have given space and who knows if things would've gotten better, and after that she has blocked me on the phone and has cut off all communications. So, basically for past 4 days I've done everything I shouldn't have, and may have pushed her farther. Today I ran into her at a community gathering and each time she walked past me, she was smiling/smirking, but ignoring me (don't know why?). I asked her to not be awkward when I am there so we don't lose mutual friends and she agreed, then I spoke with her about what went wrong and what's the reason for all this distance and she kept pushing me away but I remained persistent so she explained everything to me. We had a good (detailed) but edgy conversation and she explained why, so in the end I told her to smile for me one last time, and she gave me a really nice one. So basically I told her, you are still smiling for me, you sure you can live without me? Additional smile but no comment. I am wondering if giving her space will work at all or should I give up? She told me to only contact her via e-mail in future, and she seems to have her mind set, but when I asked her to smile, she genuinely smiled which can be a good sign or am I reading into it too much? I am her first love and she has never been in a relationship before this. She seems to have grip on things and I am really hurt. And I dunno if her smirk/smile around me is a sign of contentment that this is over or she's shy and awkward? Any advice please? Any hope? I know me and I know I can make things right, but I feel I have lost her coz a girl's final decision can't be influenced no matter what you do.
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Type: Question • Score: 2 • Views: 752 • Replies: 4
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BillRM
 
  1  
Reply Sun 17 Nov, 2013 04:17 am
@Ek1985,
Quote:
there was an abundance of fights, which even led her to slap me twice and third time when she did, I slapped her back. Since that day, it ended up being manipulated as "I beat her" and I am abusive.


Why in the hell do you want her back??????????????????
jespah
 
  1  
Reply Sun 17 Nov, 2013 10:33 am
@BillRM,
BillRM wrote:

Quote:
there was an abundance of fights, which even led her to slap me twice and third time when she did, I slapped her back. Since that day, it ended up being manipulated as "I beat her" and I am abusive.


Why in the hell do you want her back??????????????????


This^

The rest is a lot of excuses.
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PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Sun 17 Nov, 2013 05:15 pm
Things are DIFFERENT now and she likes it that way.

You must let her go if you want her back.

Stop chasing her, it comes off as "stalking."

May I ask your ages?
BillRM
 
  1  
Reply Sun 17 Nov, 2013 05:32 pm
@PUNKEY,
Quote:
You must let her go if you want her back.


As I already stated who in the hell would wish for their life to be a soup opera with constant fighting that even turn violence at times?
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