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Im a bit confused about my gf's feelings?

 
 
Reply Thu 14 Nov, 2013 09:21 am
we have been together for almost 8 months now and we love each other too much. we fight we love again etc n we cannot live without each other, its true. my gf lost her dad last year i was not there that time in her life. so she cries like five times a day as she says and i dont want her to miss her dad too much.
now we were chatting on the phone and she asked me do i know why she cant live without me
n i said why
she said because i remind her of her father
she also said it may sound as a joke but its true.
i dont know what it means ?????? really i wanted her to move on and i still remind her of her father. do i filll the space?????or what?
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Type: Question • Score: 3 • Views: 773 • Replies: 10
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Lordyaswas
 
  2  
Reply Thu 14 Nov, 2013 09:28 am
Well, if you smoke a pipe and wear a cardigan, I should maybe try taking up something less Dad like, and more modern, like twerking and wearing your jeans like Dustin Beaver, or whoever that fellow is.
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Romeo Fabulini
 
  2  
Reply Thu 14 Nov, 2013 10:33 am
Crazyydudee said- "she said i remind her of her father....do i filll the space?"
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Just go along with it mate and do stuff like confiscating her cell phone, telling her to turn her music down, vet her friends and tell her which ones you don't want her seeing, putting her across your knee for a spanking if she's cheeky, and so on
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PUNKEY
 
  2  
Reply Thu 14 Nov, 2013 03:47 pm
I'm sure she means that you have similar qualities, Hopefully, they are good ones.

Encourage her to go to grief counseling. You want her to remember her father with happiness rather than with sadness.
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vonny
 
  2  
Reply Thu 14 Nov, 2013 04:00 pm
@crazyydudee,
Have you asked her just what she thinks the similarities between you and her father are? It could be a lot of things - appearance, mannerisms, sense of humour - does it really matter if you are as much in love as you say?

Meantime, Punkey is right, try and get your girlfriend to have some grief counselling. She ought not to be consumed with grief in this way. Of course, she will miss her father, and if he only died last year, it will still be pretty fresh in her mind. Added,of course, to just how he died! Was it an accident, a sudden death, a death at the end of a long illness? Any of them would have been pretty traumatic. But crying so often isn't good for her - she needs to work through her sorrow with someone who is trained to help and advise.
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crazyydudee
 
  1  
Reply Thu 14 Nov, 2013 09:21 pm
She said that im like her father in every thought not always but like she is getting a deja vu or something once in a while and she cant live without me now.
She said it might sound like a joke n i wont understand a bit of my feelings they r weird honestly and even she coudnt make me understand now.
Well i just said im not your father and i would love you as much as he would n we r gonna get married and have kids and die old and she loved it...
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crazyydudee
 
  1  
Reply Thu 14 Nov, 2013 10:34 pm
He died in an accident, Fell From the Roof And He pAssed in the Hospital. She says she cannot forget how he died looking at her and crying her name...
ossobuco
 
  2  
Reply Thu 14 Nov, 2013 11:12 pm
@crazyydudee,
I think your girlfriend needs some grief counseling - but I don't know much about that. Many or most humans have some very difficult grief that they pass through by themselves. That can take a lot of time. She is still now crying five times a day? You may be solace but she has needs you can't and shouldn't try to fulfill.
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crazyydudee
 
  1  
Reply Thu 14 Nov, 2013 11:54 pm
Wht im trying is im keeping her happy and smiling.
Cz if i dont no one does not even her family does. there is no elder male in their house so they are broken.. I just want her to move on and spend her life with me so she may not regret losing her father and thinking as she is alone..
Well I think counselling is great she really needs it .And im going to tell her not to be too dependent on me.
I will be on her side but not everytime. She has to take a stand as well..
PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Fri 15 Nov, 2013 06:58 am
@crazyydudee,
"And im going to tell her not to be too dependent on me."

Good luck with that. You are already encouraging her to think like that.

Insist that she go to counseling, or she will hang on you for the rest of your life.

She needs to separate her father from her husband.
crazyydudee
 
  2  
Reply Fri 15 Nov, 2013 08:36 am
@PUNKEY,
Thnk ew everyone :-)
Thks @punkey
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