6
   

Would you hate your child for being gay?

 
 
Reply Wed 13 Nov, 2013 06:03 pm
Everyone argues about whether it's right or wrong to be gay? Please check out this video on Youtube called, "ARE YOU GAY? BIGMA GOT SOME GOOD ADVICE" Bigma answers a lot of questions about being gay. One of her sons is gay and the other straight. Would she hate her son, because he's gay? Would you hate yours? I would like your honest opinion on this video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1xQ63rrizLg
 
tsarstepan
 
  1  
Reply Wed 13 Nov, 2013 06:09 pm
@somethinguseful4u,
I wear glasses but I'm not blind. There doesn't apparently seem to be a youtube video embedded in your post. Or is this some kind of online existential performance piece?
somethinguseful4u
 
  1  
Reply Wed 13 Nov, 2013 06:21 pm
@tsarstepan,
Thanks for reminding me...and thanks more for your interest!
0 Replies
 
monicamp
 
  1  
Reply Wed 13 Nov, 2013 08:45 pm
@somethinguseful4u,
I love my children unconditionally, so that would make no difference to me. My main interest is their happiness. So no is my answer
maxdancona
 
  1  
Reply Wed 13 Nov, 2013 09:00 pm
@monicamp,
I don't love my children unconditionally. But I would accept them if they were gay.
0 Replies
 
Pearlylustre
 
  7  
Reply Wed 13 Nov, 2013 09:26 pm
@somethinguseful4u,
I can't think of any reason why I'd ever actually hate one of my children, and
I wouldn't even be disappointed if one of them was gay. I didn't watch your video when I realised that it was produced by someone who suggested meeting in God's office... I would be seriously disappointed if either of my children believed in God or any other mythical being. I would definitely prefer my children were gay than delusional.
0 Replies
 
neologist
 
  1  
Reply Thu 14 Nov, 2013 07:55 pm
@somethinguseful4u,
Perhaps the questions should be:

Is the gay lifestyle healthy?
Is gender identity simply a trait no different than eye color or handedness?
Does adolescent gender dysphoria define a persons adult personality?

As a society, we seem to have seriously stubbed our collective toes in our rush to find "correct" answers.
maxdancona
 
  4  
Reply Thu 14 Nov, 2013 07:58 pm
@neologist,
Well Neologist,

What combination of answers to those questions would lead you to hating your own child? Is there any?
neologist
 
  1  
Reply Fri 15 Nov, 2013 02:29 am
@maxdancona,
I think I am like most parents in that I could not hate my child for any reason.

When it comes to sexual identity, I would seek to explain to them that one's thoughts, particularly those of adolescents, do not define one's character.

The US mint would be empty if that were true.
maxdancona
 
  2  
Reply Fri 15 Nov, 2013 08:00 am
@neologist,
So, really the questions that you are raising would be irrelevant if one of your children is gay, right? I am sure you would explain to them your opinions on homosexuality. I hope that you would listen to them when they explained their feelings.

This gentleman has interesting advice for young homosexuals who need to talk to their religious families.


0 Replies
 
chai2
 
  2  
Reply Fri 15 Nov, 2013 08:15 am
@neologist,
neologist wrote:

Perhaps the questions should be:

Is the gay lifestyle healthy?
Is gender identity simply a trait no different than eye color or handedness?
Does adolescent gender dysphoria define a persons adult personality?

As a society, we seem to have seriously stubbed our collective toes in our rush to find "correct" answers.




No, the question should be; Would you hate your child for being gay?

No, I don't. I never have, and I never will.

Perhaps the question should be; Should you hate anyone for being gay?

Answer:

No.

Why would you one day hate the person who is exactly the same person they were the day before? They haven't changed.

Perhaps the question should be:
Should I hate myself for being able to change my feels toward anyone so quickly, based on finding out something about a person (something that is doing no harm to anyone), that in no way changed them from the person I loved the day before?
0 Replies
 
neologist
 
  1  
Reply Fri 15 Nov, 2013 12:29 pm
Perhaps my opinion can be summed up by saying I believe it is unhealthy to validate a young person's gender dysphoria before he or she has matured. Heck, they can't even vote until they are 18.
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Fri 15 Nov, 2013 12:57 pm
@neologist,
neologist.....your "child" is not always someone who is under 18.

your child could be 35 years old, or 50.
maxdancona
 
  1  
Reply Fri 15 Nov, 2013 03:04 pm
@neologist,
Homosexuality has nothing to do with gender dysphoria. Most homosexuals are completely happy with their gender.
neologist
 
  1  
Reply Fri 15 Nov, 2013 03:09 pm
@chai2,
As far as adult children are concerned, I could not hate them for any reason. But their situation is different, less likely to respond to fatherly advice.

I no longer have children living at home. But I still have occasion to counsel my grandchildren on the wisdom of postponing adult decisions until adulthood. I know I'm an ancient albatross. But nothing is to be gained by acting on one's sexual feelings, gay or straight, before emotional maturity is reached.
maxdancona
 
  1  
Reply Fri 15 Nov, 2013 03:24 pm
@neologist,
Quote:
But I still have occasion to counsel my grandchildren on the wisdom of postponing adult decisions until adulthood.


Really?

To some teenager that is in love, this counsel is pretty close to useless.
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Fri 15 Nov, 2013 03:31 pm
@maxdancona,
Yes on that.

I admit to not having read up on the term gender dysphoria (soon, soon).
I'll posit there might be a proposition that kids will change while aging, therefore can be changed while aging, or maybe that is just a related tack on.
I think it is sometimes a pickle for kids on the intermediate side of the sexuality span to figure themselves out.
0 Replies
 
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Fri 15 Nov, 2013 03:32 pm
@neologist,
Really?

Thinking is, actually, action.
0 Replies
 
neologist
 
  2  
Reply Fri 15 Nov, 2013 03:35 pm
@maxdancona,
I never said my advice would stick. Surprisingly, it has in a few cases.
0 Replies
 
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Fri 15 Nov, 2013 03:56 pm
@maxdancona,
I'll argue to you too.
My niece, by her own perspicacity and partly by my attention but also, she was always paying attention all around, worked her way out of a cultural zoo in one small family. I don't mean zoo in a racial context, I mean re the disparity. Her mother was a tribal woman and her father is irish american, principle up the wazoo.
I'm her aunt, but at this stage we are peers.

Right now we don't talk much since I need to text her (gaaahh). I'm going to grow up and access Pinger.com. No, I don't have a phone that texts. We've been talking through my ex, which isn't sufficient.

Anyway, my point, she listened to me, she argued with me, I listened, I argued she argued we agreed or not, working our thoughts out.

I treasure all that and she does too.
No one I love more.
0 Replies
 
 

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