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Mon 11 Nov, 2013 05:20 pm
I just found this forum via google, and am just wanting some opinions. I know I will make the ultimate decision though but it doesn't seem to hurt to ask.
I didn't want to make this too long, but I wanted to try to flesh it out a little in case it helps:
I've had this friend for a very long time. She's a childhood friend that I only saw once every 3 months all the way up until approximately 2 years ago. We started dating during summer honors at the college we were going to. This lasted up to 10 months and ended last May. The reason? She looked into herself and said to me that she probably never liked me to begin with, although, she was the one who liked me for at least 3-4 years before we even started dating, and I just then started taking interest.
So the main part of this post. After months of depression (because first love is always tough), I got over it, have had a few happy months up to now (still continuing), and I found her in the cafeteria. It's odd for me to see her alone, usually being with friends. She looked depressed or just down, it's a bit easy for me to read her, knowing her this long.
All I did was talk small talk with her when I approached her. Nothing else happened, other than her somehow able to withhold any emotion at all. So I'm a bit conflicted about whether to help her or not. I can't tell anymore if it's just that we're not a good match, or she's just not up to talking about anything big with me.
I'm more of a passive person, and since we're on a private, christian university, I hope that she learns something from it. But a little part of me wants to help. The thing keeping me back is that she's never really expressed much emotion with me, ever. Which leads me to believe it may just not be a good idea to even maintain the connection at all. But it feels that I'm only posting this just because I feel like I may be missing a hint, being a dumb/simple guy I am. Maybe I am just concerned for her. Maybe I just want to see commentary, I don't know. I know more than anyone, but if anyone has any questions, I can answer them.
If there's another thing that's probably bringing her down, is probably the whole college thing itself. Her mom told my mom, who then told me that she hated the idea of going to college, and she really wanted to just become a mom. I honestly can't pinpoint what this means with the last bit, but the bit about not going to college, makes a bit more sense with what's going on now.
I'll make of it as I will, but whether I posted this out of hopefully reassuring of myself something, being selfish, or being concerned, I hope to see personal opinions of the matter. If there really isn't much to discuss, I guess let this topic die.
Thanks for reading.
@Shokuryu,
Shokuryu wrote:
The reason? She looked into herself and said to me that she probably never liked me to begin with . . . .
Sorry, but I had to smile a little. This sounds just like something that might have happened to me.
Really, it sounds like she's been messing around with some kind of New Age Philosophy, and she'll probably get over it soon, if she hasn't already done so.
"..she hated the idea of going to college, and she really wanted to just become a mom. I honestly can't pinpoint what this means with the last bit, but the bit about not going to college, makes a bit more sense with what's going on now"
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I'm not surprised she's depressed if her parents forced her to go to college against her will. I went through something like it myself when my parents packed me off to grammar school when I was 12, and it was the unhappiest years of my life, I'd have much preferred to have gone to the school down the road with my mates, but I was never asked what i wanted.
@Romeo Fabulini,
I wouldn't be surprised as well. Heck I'd hate to go even further with my education after these last years. So while she's probably suffering of it still, I feel that by now, she'd learn to make the most of it, at least if she ever listened to any of the chapel sessions.
What's a Christian university anyway? Does it train people to be monks or nuns or something?
@Romeo Fabulini,
Haha never heard of someone saying it like that.
Far from it. Some people like myself go to one to enrich their faith further in God. Not to mention to be surrounded by others of mostly the same faith is great. To some people it's a save haven, because (most of the time) it's almost as if it's a school where no one gets bullied, pranked, shanked, and whatnot. That's not to say it is perfect because things like my iPod Touch still get stolen.
What I like at least about my university, is that we're constantly challenged in our faith by the very professors themselves. We're not brainwashed to think that Christianity is the only thing that's valid. Instead we're told to think critically, and look at multiple perspectives. This is just one of the many neat reasons why I chose a place like this.
But I shouldn't keep going on and on because now I feel like I'm milking it. I enjoy it. That's all I should be saying.
@Shokuryu,
Shok - All she wants to do is be a mom? Yeah, right.
This gal has issues that really don't have that much to do with you. She is pouting about her college. She probably wants to go to a college with a more liberal environment. She is bored and frustrated with where she is now. And that includes you.
Move on to a woman who is comfortable with her setting and her life.
If she does not like u, then that 's the end of it.
U have nothing to work with.
David
Shokuryu said:
Quote:we're constantly challenged in our faith by the very professors themselves. We're not brainwashed to think that Christianity is the only thing that's valid
But it's the only one with the Son of God in it so i'd say that makes it pretty valid..
And we can hear God himself speaking through Jesus's mouth-
Jesus said-
"For I have not spoken on my own authority; but the Father who sent me gave me a command, what I should say and what I should speak" (John 12:49)
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