Boyfriend trying to control me?

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My partner of 16 months is a highly academic intelligent person. However he vsm be incredibly over bearing. He hates me seeing my friends and wants to consume any of my free time. Recently because i would not agreeti go to jis filies joliday home as i have been there that many times its got boring je had a complete temper tantrum and stormed out and not spoken to me in 4 days , although he did leave me a letter of many pages on my car wimdscreen the contents of which was all about how sad i make him as i let him down a lot?and thinks we shouldhave a 2 month break until I 'sort myself out'.. Whats he playing at? We dont live together and we are both in our late 40's.

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Type: Question • Score: 5 • Views: 564 • Replies: 9

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@volvo,

Yes, i would agree that he's a control freak. It also sounds as though he is not at all mature in regard to personal relations. Of course, i don't know what games you get up to, and i don't know the other side of the story, so i may very well just be telling you what you had hoped to hear.

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@volvo,

If it were me, I would break up with him.

He is a control freak and he is making you a victim. Stop cooperating with him. I wouldn't up with that behavior from a child.

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@Setanta,

Honestly I am to old for games so I don't play any for sure. This behaviour pf late displayed by him is like his trying to teach me a lesson for not agreeing to what he wants. I have chosen to ignore his letter of insults and patronisation as I feel that if he has time to reflect he will apologise?

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@volvo,

Well, if all you say is true, dump him. There are plenty of fish in the sea.

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@volvo,

He tries to stop you seeing your friends.
He tells you how you make him sad, thus lowering your self-esteem.
He's very clever/academic, but resorts to temper tantrums when he doesn't get his own way.

This is controlling behaviour. Has he criticised your appearance? Has he accused you of doing things behind his back? If you carry on like this he will.

You do need to sort yourself out, regain your self esteem, and find someone who will make you happy.

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@volvo,

Ignoring him to hope that he regrets what he did and apologizes is a sick game. This isn't how a healthy relationship works. In a healthy relationship people talk about what is bothering them and then work out problems so that both people get what they need.

Based on what you are writing, I suspect that this relationship is far beyond healthy. If it were me, I would end it.

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I vote for ending it, too.

A four-page apology letter is an effort to emotionally manipulate you, too, just as much as him trying to control who you see.

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@volvo,

You are waiting for HIM to apologize? Really?

Don't count on it. He is too self centered to even consider your feelings.

Let this be a warning for things to come. He has "issues," believe me.

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@volvo,

No one can control you unless you allow him too. I’d kick his butt to the curb. Men are a dime a dozen. The only time a man will control me is when I decide to rob a bank and become the wardens bitch for twenty years.

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Boyfriend trying to control me?

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