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should i make the first move?

 
 
gino R
 
Reply Fri 18 Oct, 2013 10:17 am
well its been over 2 months since i fell out with my friend. we're on okay terms now and talk sometimes. but she now spends so much time and attention talking to another guy, when all 3 of us are together she would not even glance at me all her attention is focused on him. but i know she dosent like him. i talked about this recently with my friend and he told me that maybe she still wants us to be friends and is waiting for me to make a move. she sometimes pats me on the back and giggles a little. i really do want to reconnect with her and start talking with her again. should i make the first move? im just scared of how she would react to me talking to her after a long time. we talk in our group but her and i have not talked to each other privately in a long time....should i make the first move? any advice?
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PUNKEY
 
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Reply Fri 18 Oct, 2013 10:22 am
@gino R,
Of course you should talk to her. How else can you find out if she is willing to put aside your past and start anew.

Start out as friends and see if you can build on that, if that's what you need. Otherwise, move on.
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tsarstepan
 
  1  
Reply Fri 18 Oct, 2013 12:55 pm
@gino R,
On the one hand:
Quote:
she sometimes pats me on the back and giggles a little.

... this is quite a positive sign that she's willing to or at least partially forgiven you for whatever happened to cause the falling out and she still wants to be casual friends

But on the other hand:
Quote:
but i know she dosent like him

This is a recipe for disaster and it could ultimately kill all chances you have with ever making things right and becoming her friend or more. Since I am certain you DON'T have ESP or the ability to read minds, you DON'T have the right to assume such things as you already wrote ...
Quote:
but she now spends so much time and attention talking to another guy

From what you wrote here? It seems she only wants to return to a casual friendship for now. Don't burn your bridges by trying to convince her that you believe she "doesn't like him" even if she doesn't have particularly strong emotions towards him in the first place. It's her call on whether she is in a relationship with this new guy or not despite the level of involvement. If you persist down this road as if you will try to convince her that her feelings for this new boyfriend then it'll just show that your attempt at being friends is disingenuous as you want to possibly skip from friend zone status into full boyfriend with benefits mode which let me make clear is wrong as its quite manipulative thing to do.
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