My brother died last week...I just havent felt the same since.

Im 22 years old, male, in the U.S. My mother and father died when i was 12 years old, and ever since then my twin brother had been all I had left. We both lived together in a small 2-bedroom apartment, and we both had our own cars. I had a used pick up truck I bought off a friend, and my brother had a jeep which he always kept the doors off of. (You could take them on and off at will.)

It was last week, I found out about the accident. He had been in a crash in an intersection...he got slammed into a tree by another car, and since he had the roof down and no doors...when the tree fell, it crushed him to death.

The funeral was yesterday, but I didnt go aside the persuading of his friends and mine. I was just in to much pain and I didnt want to go and see my brothers body being buried in front of me...I was afraid It would be to much for me to handle. I just didnt want to break down crying in front of all my friends.

I dont have any other siblings or relatives who feel the same I could talk too, that I know of. Im in tears as I type this. Lately, my friends have been bringing me all sorts of gifts and flowers to try ad cheer me up, but since most of the gifts make me feel worse, I throw them away.

Ive been spending alot of time in my brothers old room, going through the pictures he had taken of us throughout the years (He had been very into photography...), and just going through his things in general. Ive taken all the pictures he took and put them in a scrapbook for safekeeping. I remember, today, I found the most recent one of when we went camping together just the week before he died. I completely burst into tears when I found it, and I havent left my room since. I know I need help, all I want is for this pain to stop.