My boyfriend's exes

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I guess I just need someone else's opinion on this. I've been dating this amazing man for 7 months now. We are great together but I can't handle his past. I've learned from him about exes and that are still a part of his life and I'm not doing well with that information. He goes to movies with them and it really bothers me because the way I see it is if he wants to remain friends with them he could easily include me so it's not just him and the ex on pretty much a date. Another issue I'm encountering is knowing he slept with them and not only during their relationship but after they had broken up he still had sex with at least one if them. This really bothers me. I literally have visions of him and them and it grosses me out. I love him and want to get past this but it's difficult for me to accept that they are still around and most importantly they are around one on one when I'm nowhere near. I hate that I feel like this, and really need to hear some advice. Today I was driving and found myself shaken up by the thought of him and one if his exes. Also one night we were together talking about threesomes and he brought up the one ex as a candidate. I felt terrible. I really do love him but his actions don't help me move past this. Advice please.

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@Is love enough,

Personally...this is just me...but I'd put this on a back burner. His past is very much in the present. He has commitment issues. He doesn't seem to be on same page as you.

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@Ragman,

Thank you for your comment. Deep down I know they aren't going anywhere.

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@Is love enough,

Quote:

I know they aren't going anywhere.

Who is they?

Quote:

one night we were together talking about threesomes and he brought up the one ex as a candidate

Ummm? That's not a good sign. This would make me feel uncomfortable and insecure, if it were me.

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@Ragman,

They are the ex girlfriends lingering around

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@Is love enough,

Easy to say from a distance, but I encourage your ex to spend his time with his exes, not you. I do not believe he is going to change, at least, not soon enough for you.

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love is not enough unless either you are compatible or love motivates you both to become so. It appears that you two are a bad match, and that he is not willing to change for you. I expect this does not end well.

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@Is love enough,

I truly can never understand this type of petty jealousy. As long as he doesn't have sex with any of these exes while with you then where's the problem (other then your own confessed irrational jealousy)?

Unless the breakup between a given ex and your boyfriend was a trainwreck, I can't imagine why the idea of staying friends with that person is a bad thing. Breaking off a relationship where former boyfriend and girlfriend were really great friends and strong feelings were shared for a good long while then suddenly they never see each other again?! That seems kind of sociopathic which entails the ability to completely shut down any lingering feelings of friendship at a whim.

So get over yourself. Your boyfriend's present state of friendship (if truly it is platonic) is quite progressive and a level of wonderful maturity that I don't believe you yourself don't emotionally or socially have right now.

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@tsarstepan,

You're probably right, but I did accept his friendship and it wasn't until he brought her up during our intimate time and conversation that I got like this. It sucked. But I do see my wrong doing. Thanks.

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@Is love enough,

I disagree that you are acting out of petty jealousy. You may be, but it seems to me you are not doing that but seeing the signs of a worrying future.
I agreed with someone who posted earlier and may have deleted it, re wariness for a bunch of reasons. To me, not least, the threesome conversation. (Maybe there has been a bunch of editing).

Move along.

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@Is love enough,

Wow. I can't believe people are telling you to stay with him.

He's going to the movies with his ex? What?

How easy would it be for her to just start kissing him? You think he would just say... Nahhh... can't do that anymore? He's a guy. We have hormones... there is no way you can trust him if he's doing that. If you do trust him, I would love to sell you a bridge. You're being beyond guillible.

If you stay with him... don't even have the nerve to act surprised when he tells you his ex is pregnant with his baby. Of course, he'll probably be telling you on Maury or Jerry, so it should be a little easier to see coming.

I'm not trying to be mean, but wake up.

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You two have different expectations from your relationship. Are you in a committed, monogamous relationship? Do you both agree? It doesn't sound like it. Get that straight between the two of you. If you can't, move on.

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My boyfriend's exes

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