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Thu 8 Apr, 2004 10:49 am
We've had discussions of how we view death, its personal meaning for us. I have a slightly different question, however. Which is to know to what extent each of us have provided for our passing. Are there any here with living wills? Have you filed a testament? Do you think about this eventuality, or do you avoid the subject? Have you made provision for your mortal remains-how and where you would like your survivors to dispose them?
So as not to appear to solicit what i will not reveal myself: I have a modest life insurance policy, which won't leave my beneficiary well-off, but ought easily to cover the cost of dispensing with my physical remains. That same beneficiary is named for my 401(k) and my Roth IRA; once again, these are sums which will not make anyone rich, but which ought to provide in the short-term after my death for eventualities which may arise. I do not have a "living" or written will, and ought soon to look to that; although, frankly, i don't care what happens to any possession of mine. I suspect they'll haul the carcass away in a hearse, as opposed to a moving van. I would like to buried in a military cemetery of which i know, which overlooks the Ohio river not far from its confluence with the Mississippi. But i am not terribly concerned about that, just willing to take advantage of my right as a veteran to get a plot from the nation i served. Whether or not i were planted there, it would not be for me; rather, i would hope to have a pleasant view of woods and water to soothe those (and there likely would be few) who might visit the site where i will be planted. Were it no more than that, a testament in the form of the love and fond memories of one good and decent woman will suffice for me.
Wow, Set. Religion and death and Tennyson, too.
My husband and I have a holographic will, but we need to attach a codicil to it should we both die at the same time. In Virginia, if there's a question about who died first, the state assumes the husband did. That could leave my children in somewhat of a bind.
I have life insurance that is reasonable, and an IRA with survivors, and as for my funeral, that will be up to my family.
I would like to have a tree planted for me somewhere. Probably in our family cemetery in Virginia.
Damn. I think I just depressed myself.
Ah crap. Yeah. I have a will, a living will, designated beneficaries, etc.. as well as instructions for cremation and burial.
But now that you've brought it up I'm due for a review again. Blah! The kid has turned 18 since they were last redone and that changes a few things.
I do not have a will, however, my husband and I have been talking about it for months to have one written up. Have lots of various investments between IRAs, 401ks, DCPs, pensions and insurance policies. Not enough to make one overly wealthy, but enough to support two young children through growing up and college. We have discussed and completed information for donating organs. We have discussed and need to put in a will who will take care of our children if we were both to die. Believe it or not my little preschooler asked me that one day, who would take care of me if mom and dad were to die? Damn Disney movies - She thought the answer was acceptable.
sorry, Set. Caught up in the poem:
Sunset and evening star,
And one clear call for me!
And may there be no moaning of the bar,
When I put out to sea,
But such a tide as moving seems asleep,
Too full for sound and foam,
When that which drew from out the boundless deep
Turns again home.
Twilight and evening bell,
And after that the dark!
And may there be no sadness of farewell,
When I embark;
For tho' from out our bourne of Time and Place
The flood may bear me far,
I hope to see my Pilot face to face
When I have crost the bar.
Goodnight,
From Florida
Years ago I thought I needed a Will and both I and my wife had them made up. However, on further investigation since there is no longer property to be disposed of the need no longer existed. In fact the probate of a will can be costly and cumbersome. At the moment all our assets are either jointly owned or as in the case of our IRA's carry each other as beneficiary. I should also note that there are secondary beneficiaries on all of our assets. I have also made provisions and left instructions with one of my sons what he was to do should I pass first. I should note that I checked with a lawyer and he said that was the best course of action.
As for Burial arrangements the cemetery plots have been purchased for both myself and wife.
Hmm - I need to redo mine, too.
Me stuff goes to my closest friend, to do with as she will.
I had spread out the money (such as it is - a nice li'l winfdfall) to four friends - who really needed it. Thing is, three of them no longer do! So - I need to reconsider - I need to add two friends who ARE needy - and leave two as they are.
I have an enduring power of attorney already drawn up, in case I lose me marbles - prolly need to give them some instructions - like pull the dambn plug already, and give away any useful organs!
Hadn't thought about funerals and such - will come out of estate, I guess. At present my friends would know to throw a party and scatter me somewhere...dunno where. Don't care....don't know as I wanna be with me mum and dad and sister...
I just hope it is a good party!
I'll get on it as soon as I get the chance.
organ donor & creamation. hopefully ashes into the ocean.
No will- think about it often. Havent done it because I am stuck at choosing who will care for my child if I died. No one seems good enough. I do have a good amount of insurance that my husband will piss away if I go before him. He is really not good with money. Does anyone know if I can force him to use it in a certain way - say to pay off the mortgage and pay into the college fund a certain amount?
beebo : you should be able to set up a trust into which insurance money would be paid for the education/care of your child - of course the most important part would be to find a trustworthy person or persons(who would have to agree jointly on how the money would be used). your insurance rep should be able to come up with a reasonable solution, if it is group life insurance, the company should have someone who would advise you. just don't put it off ! hbg
Soon, soon. Zzzzzzzzzzzzz
doglover wrote:edgarblythe wrote:I'll get on it as soon as I get the chance.
Don't wait too long edgar....the clock is ticking. :wink:
We didn't do the will thing. Too much will be paid in inheritance taxes. We have a TOD (transfer on death) for our house and vehicles to go to our son. As well as a life insurance policy for him. As for our possessions, my son knows what he is to get as does my dad. They get the important stuff. The rest of it, who cares...let 'em have a yard sale if they want.
We have pre-planned our cemetery and funeral arrangements. Nothing else matters.
I do think about my computer saavy sister-in-law getting her hands on my computer's hard drive. The stuff that's in there is going to blow her mind! And she THOUGHT she KNEW me. LOL 
Could you by any chance, provide the figures ($$) for a cemetary plot?
Thanks.
Miller--
Figures for cemetery plots vary widely. In death, as in life, there are Good Addresses and Cheap Rents.
Miller--
The price can vary from $.00 for being buried in your back yard to many thousands for an above ground burial crypt.
you can always donate your body to science; but i understand that many teaching hospitals are no longer interested in these "donations". hbg
Unfortunately, when a body donated to medical science is autopsied, the family of the deceased are not told the results.
Nowadays, many bodies are used for surgical practice. The technique for keyhole surgery requires a lot of unfamiliar fine-muscle work. In surgery practicing on-the-job is not ethical.
That was the poem my father asked to have read at his memorial service... as lots of good military guys did.
We have all those things... will, living will, power of attorney, cemetery plots and a family stone already in place. I'm still vacillating between the choice of being cremated before burial. I have had conversations with my kids about the few special things that I inherited or acquired, as to who would like what. I wanted them to be sure they knew what made each thing special. I hope they will remember and pass on our family's history that way.
An interesting thing about the living wills is the provision our attorney suggested... that water continue to be provided to a comatose body, even when food is withheld. He said that all the doctors ask for that... so we did, too.
Hey beebo you sound like me with the husband thing. He may be a good man, but I wouldn't trust him with my insurance money. I will have to consider that when we pull our will together. If something would happen to me, I will have to make sure a portion of my insurance and retirement money is put aside for the children. Otherwise there goes their college tuition and other future money. And as far as raising them - oh I can't even think of that - he is not the most patient man - perhaps I will just have to stay around at least for the next 2o years or so.
Beebo - I am not sure, but I do believe you can set up money into a trust for them, just do not put your husband as trustee. One thing to note, in Mass. all your life insurance automatically goes to your spouse, if you want a portion to go to some one else, your spouse has to sign something in agreement.
I would check with a lawyer.
I HAVE A WILL BUT THE THING THAT BOTHERS ME MOST IS WHAT MUSIC I SHOULD HAVE AT MY FUNERAL.
ATMOSPHERE(I LOVE A PARTY WITH A HAPPY ATMOSPHERE) BY RUSS ABBOTT SEEMS QUITE A GOOD ONE
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