In the original story, Colleen realized at some point that her brother was dead, and went through a mental transition to accept that fact. It takes a particularly strong mind to come to that realization so soon, especially when there's no dead body. Years ago, a co-worker died on a Civil Air Patrol training mission when his plane crashed on a mountaintop. Since the plane and its contents burned to ashes, there was no body to bury. And since his wife had seen him leave the house that morning, she had a hard time accepting the fact that he was dead. She didn't have the mental strength to turn that corner and accept the fact. There were people like that in New York City too. During the newscasts where reporters were at the disaster scene, there was always a group of Lost Souls in the background, holding up pictures of missing loved ones so the camera could see them. I don't know what they were thinking at the time. Maybe some viewer in Nebraska would recognize the face on the picture, and the missing person would turn up in a diner in Osceola? If there were no large groups of amnesia patients walking the streets of New York City, and no victims in the hospitals, you would think that people would understand the truth within a couple of days, but some people couldn't.
It seems to me that Colleen flipped a mental switch on that day, but the light that came on for her would be a different color for someone else. Her "mantra" was "Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do." For someone else it might be "Peace Through Strength" or "Never Forget" or something different, depending on which brain neuron fired at that particular moment. Their organization September Eleventh Families for Peaceful Tomorrows only has two full-time staff members, so apparently most people accepted the deaths in other ways.
I think it's okay for a person to "turn the other cheek" when someone does violence to them, if that's what they want to do. It's a personal decision that a person can make only for himself. I do NOT think it's acceptable for the President of a country to do that. The President has an obligation to protect and defend the country, so the response there is, at the very least, to take action to make sure such a thing never happens again. That can be accomplished in many different ways. If you look at the website of
September Eleventh Families for Peaceful Tomorrows, and click on the link to "
Click here for answers to Frequently Asked Questions about Peaceful Tomorrows," you can see (in item #5) that they say they aren't a political advocacy organization, but one of their goals is to discuss this response to 9/11, so I'm not sure that statement holds true. Also I think some of the 9/11 families wear their victimhood like an impenetrable cloak sometimes. It tends to deflect criticism.
Personally, I think forgiveness is nice when you can afford it. If you somehow don't have the capacity or ability to help make the bad situation better, or to assist other victims, or to track down the perpetrators, then it seems forgiveness is about all you have left. When the bullets start flying, a true pacifist Ghandi type will sit down in the Lotus position and resign himself to death. I have never understood that mindset. I had a conversation with a pacifist at another board once, and in my scenario where five angry men were charging toward him and his family with obvious intent to kill them, and he had a gun on the ground at his feet, his choice was to peacefully accept the deaths of himself and his family. I guess the actions of a true pacifist are to offer retroactive forgiveness to everyone. That's too high a price for me. I agree with Noddy24 about forgiving the borrower but never lending him money again. In that case, it's only money. In the case of a human life, though, I don't think forgiveness is affordable.
I have a 1978 book by Dr. Wayne Dyer called "Pulling Your Own Strings." I've read through that thing several times, and I never get tired of it. It's all about how not to be a victim in your daily life. For example, when the clerk in the department store tells you that it's the store's policy and there's nothing he can do to help you, instead of going away angry and blaming the clerk, you demand to see the manager. Now that I think about it, much of the book is about forgiveness, although he doesn't say that specifically. You forgive the clerk for being a jerk, because that's his job. You forgive your family members for victimizing you by generally making you be their servant, and just refuse to do it. You forgive yourself for falling into low self esteem, and you change your ways of thinking so you're not depressed all the time.
Forgiveness - a good thing in many ways. Excellent topic, Fedral.
