Heaven Can Wait for Jesus Christ Superstar
Jesus gets sidetracked after the Resurrection and ends up in a movie about the Crusades as King Richard the Pious Hearted.
My favorite thus far: Jesus Christ's Day Off.
"Hey Simon Peter, watch me pull a rabbit outta this hat ! ! !"
"Again . . . that trick never works !"
"Whooooaaaaa . . . musta got the wrong hat . . . "
("Christ, he's drunk again . . . ")
"The Passion of the Crust" Once again, the Jews are blamed for the death of the donut by inventing the bagel. However, the plot has no holes in it.
Nightmare on Via Dolorosa
Mad Mel Beyond the Sanity Dome
The Holy Ghost of Mississippi
Jesus returns to 1963 Mississippi to become a civil rights leader. He is disapponted that the the only results of his work end up being the Klan putting Jews ahead of Blacks on the lynching list, and getting killed by a Cracker who didn't recognize his Lord and Saviour. While dying dramatically and bloodily, Jesus raises his eyes to heaven and says "Oh great, here we go again," a moving and pivotal central scene.
Are You Shoah What Really Happened?
In Hutton Gibson's directorial debut, Jesus, after centuries of living in heaven, undergoes a crisis of faith, having been born a Jew. The atrocities of the Holocaust comsume him. Finally he asks God to send him back to see the evidence for himself, to settle his feelings. God says "Umm, sure I can send you back, but you may not find the answers you are looking for." Jesus insists, and God gives in. When Jesus arrives at what were the supposed concentration camps, and discovers that they are really country clubs, and that the showers were simply that, showers, and the alleged ovens were used only for baking fresh challah, he gets incensed. "That's it. You lying, stinking Jew bastards. Okay, this time it's personal...." Jesus singlehandedly slaughters six million Jews. Looking at the carnage, he says "Oops...umm, dad? Could we do something about this?" God says "Of course my son. We will deal shrewdly with this, and let the Jews perpetuate their own myths about what really happened here. That, my son, will eventually be their true undoing, heh heh." And Christ smiled.
Good one, cav!
Has anyone suggested "Apocalypse Now" yet? Starring The Rock as Jesus, ready to do some damage to those who are "left behind" when the righteous ascend to heaven...
cav, that's wicked and I love it! (There should have been a casting call for you as the Devil in Mel's opus).
Incidentally, it rocked at the box office again bringing in more than 17M and getting closer to the 400M mark. Releasing "The Alamo" on Easter weekend? What were they thinking? I guess their are more Christians than Patriots?
That could be "Apocalypse Wow!"
In Texas, Lightwizard, the Alamo IS religion.
That's probably the majority of it's first weekend box office.
"Jesus Christ Superscar" Shock and awe hysterical film fixated on the damage done to Christ's body in song.
High Eleventh Hour
Lawman Jesus must stand alone; unable to get anyone to fight on his side against three hired killers Caiaphas, Herod, and Pontius Pilate, due in at the Eleventh Hour.
The Aramaic Patient
Jesus (Ralph Fiennes) is cared for by Mary Magdalene (Juliette Binoche) while all around the Second World War ends and bombs have to be defused.
Passion Trek II: The Wrath of Christ
Another film starring the Rock as the savior, plus some space ships and William Shatner yelling "Chriiiiiiiiiist!" at a pivbtal moment. Look for a cameo by Ricardo Montalban.
Jes, thanks for the guffaw
Jes -- that's a dream sequence as in "Last Temptation?" ("The Aramaic Patient")
