dating/widower/support

There's no way anyone here could tell that for sure. I'd just be guessing...but I'd rely on what you feel when you're with him.

Widowers and widows need support and it's common for them to have such get-togethers without anything else developing from it. The real issue here is how you feel about his not sharing more..with YOU!

Substitute "football" for "about his late wife" and see if that makes a difference. He's talking about something you may not understand to other people who understand immediately.

Or . . . He may be acting as counselor or listening post for these people at their time of grieving. When people lose spouses, it's easier to talk to someone who has gone through the same situation.

Does he know how you feel (left out, curious, threatened)?

I don't think it's a date when he's talking to his other friends. If he considers you his girlfriend (does he?) he possibly feels it's inappropriate to be talking about his late wife and doesn't want to make you feel uncomfortable. Ghosts of ex-wives or husbands can be very intrusive third-parties in a relationship (people often post about that here) and I think he's trying to be considerate to you by keeping her out of the picture. That's just my first impression from reading your post.