Fri 13 Sep, 2013 10:30 am
I am not sure what to do. My friend/boyfriend doesnt communicate or have deep discussions with me and share his feelings about his late wife. She passed away 5 years ago. But he doesnt have a problem listening and talking about his passed wife with other widow lady friends. He will go visit them or take them out for a drink and be there for them, but he doesnt call it a date?? Is he playing with me and my emotions and playing the widower card or just trying to be a good friend to his lady friends?
There's no way anyone here could tell that for sure. I'd just be guessing...but I'd rely on what you feel when you're with him.
Widowers and widows need support and it's common for them to have such get-togethers without anything else developing from it. The real issue here is how you feel about his not sharing more..with YOU!
Substitute "football" for "about his late wife" and see if that makes a difference. He's talking about something you may not understand to other people who understand immediately.
Or . . . He may be acting as counselor or listening post for these people at their time of grieving. When people lose spouses, it's easier to talk to someone who has gone through the same situation.
Does he know how you feel (left out, curious, threatened)?
I don't think it's a date when he's talking to his other friends. If he considers you his girlfriend (does he?) he possibly feels it's inappropriate to be talking about his late wife and doesn't want to make you feel uncomfortable. Ghosts of ex-wives or husbands can be very intrusive third-parties in a relationship (people often post about that here) and I think he's trying to be considerate to you by keeping her out of the picture. That's just my first impression from reading your post.