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Confused =/

 
 
AFP1921
 
Reply Sun 25 Aug, 2013 09:15 pm
My boyfriend (22, I'm almost 26) and I had been together for nearly two months.
Everything was great. We hung out all the time, his friends liked me, and he
even told his mom about me. He would drive an hour from camp pendleton to see me
and even meet my parents. He let me drive his car, paid for everything, and even
talked about the future. But the day before he deployed, this past wednesday, he
started acting distant and kept leaving me in his room to go hang out with his
friends. I understood because he wouldn't be seeing them for 7 months to a year
either. I gave him a st. Michael and st. Christopher medal, the patron saints of
the military and of safe travel, and he freaked out on me. He started saying it
was too much and we moved too fast and that we were too different. I asked him
if he didn't want to be with me and he was like that's not what I said. I also
asked him if he wanted to break up and he said no. The next day he left at noon
and he barely kissed me goodbye. Then that night he called to break up with me.
He said he just didn't want to have to deal with the burden of having to think
about a girlfriend back home. He said there was no other girl and he didn't plan
to do anything crazy while he was deployed. He didn't want me to delete him from Facebook and he said he wants to skype when he finally gets internet. He also said things might change but right now he just couldn't handle it. He said I was
making HIM feel guilty because I was crying and he kept saying please just tell
me everything is going to be ok. I am really confused right now because he is
the one who kept asking if I would wait for him and worried that I would cheat
on him (something I would never do). Is this behavior normal. I am so confused.
Please help!!!!
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PUNKEY
 
  2  
Reply Sun 25 Aug, 2013 09:20 pm
Believe it or not, this behavior is VERY typical of deploying soldiers. He is overwhelmed and good-byes are very difficult. So he pushes away anything that could be emotional for him.

He needs some time to get ready for his new work. Don't expect him to be able to give you attention at this time. Give him time to settle in at his new location. Let him know that you want to keep communicating with him.

Try to have patience and give him the benefit of the doubt right now that he is not thinking clearly right now about your relationship.
AFP1921
 
  1  
Reply Sun 25 Aug, 2013 09:34 pm
@PUNKEY,
Thank you so much! That is what I'm trying to do. I sent him a letter telling him I'm here to support him as a friend, and then just random things that have been going on. I kept it light and funny. I know it's hard on him, but the break up still hurts since it is so new. But I will be there to support him in any way he needs it.
Alisapg
 
  2  
Reply Sun 25 Aug, 2013 10:55 pm
@AFP1921,
Love is complex. you need't find out the reason.Please give the time each other to think the relationship.is it necessary for you keep this feelings?your boyfriend may have other problems to settle.Others only give some suggestions.But you still decide to handle it last.
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PUNKEY
 
  2  
Reply Mon 26 Aug, 2013 09:02 am
@AFP1921,
Most units even have a friends and family (FGR) web site or FB page.

There you can see what other girlfriends and wives are sharing and going through.

If you can get his unit number, maybe you can look it up.
AFP1921
 
  1  
Reply Mon 26 Aug, 2013 10:10 am
@PUNKEY,
O Awesome! Thanks, I will look into that =)
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