5
   

Remy Domestic abuse - example of blaming the victim?

 
 
firefly
 
  1  
Reply Tue 20 Aug, 2013 10:10 pm
@BillRM,
Quote:
Can give you postings of women who are crying out due to the state forcing de facto divorces on them as they can not get restraining orders removed on their husbands.

What does that have to do with women being killed by their domestic partners? Or trying to prevent that from happening?
Quote:
Lot of women will not then call the police in the first place if they know they will give up all control to the state.

More women may fail to call the police out of fear--of their partner--and fear of what their partner will do to them if they do call the police..

A restraining order, without additional safeguards, offers a woman little real protection because the order can be violated. It would have given Jennifer Martel no real protection from Jared Remy.

The most dangerous time for the woman is when she wants to get out of a controlling abusive relationship, because that often escalates the man's behavior. And Jennifer Martel apparently did want to leave Remy--she sent e-mails to people telling them she was in fear of him and planning her escape. That may well be what set off the violence in the relationship, the fact she wanted to leave.
Quote:
In any case, it is once more taking the rights of adulthood away from women in order to protect them whether they wish the protections or not.

That's not how the domestic violence intervention programs, like the High-Risk program in Massachusetts, approach the situation. They assess the situation, and if the risk to the woman is felt to be high, they will help her not to be in denial about it, and they work on obtaining her confidence and cooperation. They also take action against the person posing the risk, either by a dangerousness detention, or a GPS monitoring of his whereabouts, in addition to a restraining order--they put him under surveillance--which affords her a much higher level of protection.

There is a difference between a woman who is in an abusive relationship, and a woman who is in a potentially lethal situation, where there is a high risk of her becoming a victim of a homicide. In the latter situation, much more drastic measures should be taken to protect the potential victim and to restrict the ability of the dangerous individual to harm her, or anyone else--the threat has to be reduced or contained, as much as possible.

Jennifer Martel was in a controlling relationship with a man who had a significant past history of violence, including threats to kill a previous domestic partner. It does not appear that there was ongoing physical abuse in Martel's relationship with Remy, but she was in fear of him, with good reason, because of his explosive tendencies, and she wanted to get away from him. She needed the protection and help of the state, and she really needed to ask for it.

If Martel had had any visible signs of injury from the alleged assault that resulted in Remy's arrest, I think the prosecutors would have been much more reluctant to just let him walk out of court, and an attempt to hook Martel up with domestic violence social workers might have been made, given Remy's past history. But the state really lacked evidence on which they could act, because, given her lack of injuries, they couldn't even really prove he had assaulted her, and she didn't even appear at his arraignment.
Quote:
In any case, it is once more taking the rights of adulthood away from women in order to protect them whether they wish the protections or not.

The state has an obligation to evaluate and restrain/retain any person who may pose an imminent danger to someone else--whether or not the potential victim wishes that to be done--that's why psychiatric evaluations for dangerousness are done. This is not "taking the rights of adulthood away from women"--that's how our society protects itself from potentially dangerous individuals.








0 Replies
 
firefly
 
  1  
Reply Tue 20 Aug, 2013 10:42 pm
This is some family. Jared Remy's siblings seem to have problems as well...
Quote:
Just last month, Bella confirmed, Jared’s sister Jenna Remy, 28, of Wayland, was pepper-sprayed during a violent struggle with Somerville police who busted her at her ex-boyfriend’s home on charges of assault and battery, breaking and entering, disorderly conduct and resisting arrest.

She pleaded not guilty and her case remains open, prosecutors said. Remy posted her own bail of $300, and a restraining order against her was vacated Aug. 7, according to court papers obtained by the Herald today.

Jenna Remy could not be reached for comment.

Following his arrest for indecent assault on a woman in 2010, another brother, Jordan Remy, admitted to facts sufficient for a guilty finding and had his case continued without a finding for one year, during which he underwent mental health counseling and substance abuse treatment, according to Jake Wark, spokesman for Suffolk District Attorney Daniel F. Conley.

http://bostonherald.com/news_opinion/local_coverage/2013/08/uncertain_future_for_jared_remys_child#sthash.PpdIBNu4.dpuf
0 Replies
 
Linkat
 
  2  
Reply Wed 21 Aug, 2013 06:45 am
@firefly,
Quote:
she said she did not want the restraining order extended


Actually she did not say that. She did not show up at the hearing the next morning which in that case she would have had the opportunity to extend it.

I do agree though - it isn't straight forward and not an easy decision to make either way. I've just watched this DA talk (and granted I am probably feel biased and have 20/20) and I am sure she doesn't blame the victim, but in what she is saying it sounds like she is blaming the victim. She speaks without any sound of remorse or apoligy (probably so she doesn't appear guilty) - so she comes across as not caring, but just trying to cover her butt. Which I assume she is trying to cover her butt - I don't think she uncaring - but it seems she is more concerned about covering her a$$ rather than this woman's life being taken away.

I realize she may not feel this way and there is no way to get into her head - but all appearances she sounds and appears that way.
Linkat
 
  2  
Reply Wed 21 Aug, 2013 06:56 am
@firefly,
Quote:
But the victim in this case specifically declined the protection


Incorrect - she did not show up - she not ask or decline the protection.

The other question that has been raised - now granted speculation - is how involved were the parents of Remy - in the past the Remy's (according to the victim's parents) stated they had asked the victim in past domestic violence incidents not to press charges. Were they at the hearing - the Remy's?

Now I have been a Jerry Remy fan - but now I have a hard time with it. His other two adult children are also repeatedly in trouble with the law. Doesn't sound like they were great parents - if all there children are in trouble and they continuously bail them out.

I wonder how this will effect Jerry, his work at the Red Sox and head of Red Sox nation and his restaurants?
BillRM
 
  -4  
Reply Wed 21 Aug, 2013 06:59 am
@Linkat,
I question if anyone is happy or thrill when a woman is killed by her partner, that does not mean however that the state should force restraining orders down the throat of women who do not wish for them to be issue just in case one of these women will end up dead if the order is not issue.

We need to stop treating women as children with the state standing in as parents as doing so is not only insulting to women as a whole but tend to be counterproductive in most cases.

Linkat
 
  2  
Reply Wed 21 Aug, 2013 07:01 am
@ehBeth,
Quote:
Linkat wrote:
She states the abuse victim is in the best position to determine what is right for her safety...is she really?


that really seems like a stupid position for the DA to take. The research doesn't back that up at all. Hopefully someone will sue the state on behalf of the child.


I guess this is as best example as can be pointed out as the DA's lack of empathy with the victim and also concern that perhaps she isn't the right person for the job if she doesn't have an understanding of this. Certainly one of the lamest excuses.

Also when does the victim have to be the one to press charges or request such things? A good example of another mini local celebrity murder. When Nancy Kerrigan's brother murdered her father, the family did not want to press charges on the brother or at the least felt he shouldn't be charged with murder. But yet the state did charge him.
0 Replies
 
firefly
 
  1  
Reply Wed 21 Aug, 2013 08:55 am
@Linkat,
Quote:
The other question that has been raised - now granted speculation - is how involved were the parents of Remy...

I also wondered about how involved the Remys were with Jared's previous arrests because it seems he'd gotten rather lenient punishments for all his prior offenses.
firefly
 
  2  
Reply Wed 21 Aug, 2013 10:57 am
@BillRM,
Quote:
We need to stop treating women as children with the state standing in as parents...

You have an odd perspective on this. It has nothing to do with "treating women as children." A restraining order is an action taken by the state to try to prohibit certain unlawful behaviors--including things like stalking and harassment--regardless of the gender of the person engaging in such behavior.

A restraining order is a legal injunction used by the state to exercise control over the person who is doing something in violation of laws and statutes--it's to deter illegal behavior.

The main problem with such orders is that they are ineffective, they are violated about 40% of the time.

In the case of Jared Remy, a restraining order would have been useless--he had violated such orders in the past when he was involved in domestic violence with other partners. And I don't think a court should rely on such restraining orders when dealing with a violent and possibly dangerous person, certainly not unless GPS monitoring is used in conjunction with such an order. The other option with someone like Remy would be to have a dangerous evaluation/retention--something which was used with him in the past after he assaulted and threatened to kill a former domestic partner.
Quote:

MASSACHUSETTS DANGEROUSNESS STATUTE

There is a statute that allows the District Attorney's Office to ask the court to hold an individual accused of a crime for up to 90 days prior to trial. The individual must have committed a "predicate offense" that has an element of that offense the use, attempted use, or threatened use of physical force or any felony that involves a substantial risk that physical force may result. An evidentiary hearing must be scheduled, but an accused may be held for several days before the hearing.


The state apparently did not feel that, given the circumstances of his arrest for assaulting Martel, that a dangerousness evaluation was warranted. This is where more information from Martel might have been helpful to them--she was in fear of this man, but how much did the prosecution know about that? Had she conveyed her fears to the police when they showed up at her apartment to arrest Remy for allegedly assaulting her? Did the prosecution minimize Remy's "dangerousness" because Martel had not been seriously injured, and was that an error in judgment given Remy's past history?

The state should move for a dangerousness evaluation/retention, with or without the cooperation of possible intended victims, if there is sufficient reason to believe that person poses a significant risk to anyone or is a danger in the community.

Now the D.A.'s office will have to justify why they didn't see Jared Remy as posing such a danger. They cannot blame the victim and just leave it at that.



0 Replies
 
Linkat
 
  2  
Reply Wed 21 Aug, 2013 03:38 pm
@firefly,
Definately rumors flying on this subject. I've either read or heard on the news - can't remember which that a friend claims she was pressured by Remy's family to not show at the hearing - I am guessing the one that morning - but perhaps could have been an earlier incident.

I've read or heard too that her family has state similar. Now of course you can't know for sure, but it does make one wonder with his record why he hasn't been in more trouble previously.
0 Replies
 
BillRM
 
  -2  
Reply Fri 30 Aug, 2013 05:59 am
@BillRM,
Quote:
Sorry they are not our parents and can only do so must as the responsibility for our own welfare rest mostly in our own hands.


My god four repeat four members of this board disagree enough with the above statement to voted it down.

How amazing that they seem to wished to surrender their adulthood to the state and be treated as children or so it would seems.

Or is it only others mainly women that they wish to removed the rights and the responsibilities of adulthood from?
0 Replies
 
Region Philbis
 
  1  
Reply Tue 27 May, 2014 10:37 am
Quote:
Jared Remy pleads guilty to murder

WOBURN, Mass. -- The son of Boston Red Sox broadcaster Jerry Remy has pleaded guilty to murder
in the stabbing death of his girlfriend last year.

The judge accepted Jared Remy's guilty plea Tuesday to first-degree murder, assault and battery, and
violating a restraining order. The 35-year-old faces a mandatory sentence of life in prison without parole.
(espn)
Linkat
 
  2  
Reply Tue 27 May, 2014 11:01 am
@Region Philbis,
Probably the only decent thing this "man" has ever done in his life. Sparing the victims family from having to witness a lengthly trial.
0 Replies
 
Region Philbis
 
  1  
Reply Tue 27 May, 2014 12:19 pm
Quote:
Remy: ‘Blame Me For This, Not My Family’

At a pre-trial hearing in Middlesex County Superior Court today, the prosecution announced
that they reached an agreement with Jared Remy for him to plead guilty in the murder of his
girlfriend, 27-year-old Jennifer Martel, at their Waltham, Mass. apartment last summer. He
pleaded guilty to first-degree murder and was sentenced to life in prison without parole.

In a statement after his sentencing, Remy said “blame me for this, not my family.” The Boston
Globe reported that he also said, “And if you asked my family, they’d rather have me dead
than her.”

Remy, the son of Red Sox broadcaster Jerry Remy, stabbed and killed Martel last August,
one day after being released on his own recognizance following an arrest for pushing Martel
into a mirror. The couple’s 4-year-old daughter was home at the time of the fatal attack.

Before the plea could be finalized, Judge Kathe Tuttman asked Remy, 35, to step forward to
discuss his mental health. Remy was asked to confirm that he understood the charges against
him and the penalties that would come with those charges. He confirmed that he understood
the charges meant he committed the act with “extreme atrocity or cruelty” and “deliberate
premeditation.” He also confirmed that he would accept his life sentence.

Remy did ask to clarify the court’s understanding of the events that led to Martel’s death. He
claimed that Martel had a knife and was threatening to take their daughter prior to the attack.
After today’s proceedings, The Boston Globe’s Maria Cramer reported that Remy’s attorney said
Remy will not have a relationship with his daughter.

According to a report from WHDH producer Brad Tatum, Remy asked his parents to not attend
the hearing today.

Remy also pleaded guilty to assault and battery, violating a restraining order, and other charges,
some of which stemmed from multiple violent altercations while he was being held in prison. Two
charges, assault and battery as well as assault and battery with a dangerous weapon, were dismissed
after Remy’s attorney argued they were covered under the murder charge.
(globe)
0 Replies
 
Setanta
 
  2  
Reply Tue 27 May, 2014 01:00 pm
Oh yeah, right . . . what idiocy . . .

"Wait a minute, Honey, stop stabbing me for a moment so i can go get my pistol."
oralloy
 
  -1  
Reply Tue 27 May, 2014 01:47 pm
@Setanta,
Setanta wrote:
Oh yeah, right . . . what idiocy . . .
"Wait a minute, Honey, stop stabbing me for a moment so i can go get my pistol."

What's this "go get" stuff? If someone is attacking you with a knife, just draw the gun from your holster.
0 Replies
 
 

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