Is almost 5 years old too old to be wearing diapers?

He's a relation to me. I love him and I don't want him to be the fat kid who poops in his pants and has social problems for the rest of his life (There are LITERALLY 3 boxes in the freezer right now called 'Fat Boy' ice cream sandwiches.) He doesn't know any better when his mom lets him do whatever he wants. If he didn't eat chocolate everyday, he wouldn't expect it. If he was forced to wear real underwear, he'd not like it.

This is not your business. You've already tried talking to her and she has shut you out. Call CPS if you're that concerned, but she's not going to listen to you so move on.

I think at this point you HAVE to call child services. They need to send in some professional help as clearly the parents aren't handling the situation very well and the child needs to be checked out for possible learning/emotional/mental problems.

These cases tend to lean towards wearing diapers at night as there are not so uncommon bedwetting/physiological bladder issues.

If the kid were related to me and I cared anything about him I'd call CPS or somebody or something immediately. The only other thing I can think of which might offer any sort of help would be some sort of church service which was capable of doing anything with a situation like that but, the way you describe it, the story is going to end badly.

At 5 kids are ready for kindergarten. Did he go to preschool? Many preschools give potty training. Something, quite a lot actually, about his pattern needs to be changed. Seeking professional help should help. The answers you get here can't be specific to this child.

a useless spoiled brat is being incubated here....

Pooping constantly could be a medical problem that may need to be looked at. At 5 kids usually start kindergarten and are out of diapers by them. I can imagine your eagerness to help but from what you've said I am not too sure about how his mom would take that. Suggest gently so she wont be offended.

You hit the head on the nail - this describes my niece exactly - about the same age and she refuses to use the potty. She is extremely intelligent, but certainly has issues. Her parents are in the process of divorce. My brother does nothing to discipline her and yells at others that attempt to do so. Even his other daughter gets the brunt of it - for example when the younger one is throwing a bit and kicking and things like that and her older sister gets kicked, the older sister gets in trouble if she complains or does anything about it.

Her mom although no where as strict as she was with her other children, does try to encourage the potty and does not allow her to get her way all the time like my brother. I have not got all the details, but have heard that she is slightly autistic or similar.

She doesn't have issues with mis-behavior at school and she wears pull ups at school. It makes it seem like she knows she can manupilate my brother. She does nothing wrong in her eyes. I have had to teach my children how to handle situations with her when she sleeps over the grandparents house with her so they don't have to deal with her issues, but at the same time not to hurt her emotionally as I explain to them that she is still little so she doesn't completely understand.

There is definately a little of the austic (which as she is fully functioning socially) - I think my brother exploits it to not disclipine her at all. And also the power struggle between the parents.

There is little you can do - many parents like that get very overprotective of anything you say. Basically you cannot say one bad thing about his daughter to my brother without him getting defensive and angry. I feel as this sort of attitude does not help the child.