The old strip-search hoax still works!

Eatery managers: Don't strip-search your customers




Mar. 31, 2004 12:00 AM


It's official. The world has now lost its last shred of common sense. The fine art of reason and good judgment? Gone. Basic intelligence has once and for all bailed on us.

There is absolutely no other explanation for the outrage that occurred last Friday at a Fountain Hills Taco Bell.

By now, you've heard the story.

The manager of the Taco Bell - the 39-year-old manager - gets a phone call from someone who claims to be a cop. The "cop" tells the manager that he's looking for a girl who has stolen some money or may have drugs, and he instructs the Rhodes Scholar to see if there's anyone who matches the description.

The manager spies a 17-year-old girl, a high school student on spring break who has stopped in to have lunch with two friends. He asks the girl to accompany him to a back room where he proceeds to cover the window with cardboard and carry out the "orders" of the "cop."

"He has her strip, and he has her do jumping jacks to get sweaty," said Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio, whose office is investigating. "Then he does a couple of cavity searches."

I always knew fast food could be hazardous to your health. I just didn't know it was your mental health.

"It's just torn up our family," the girl's mother told me. "I don't understand how it could happen."

No one with a brain the size of that annoying little Taco Bell dog would understand how such a thing could happen. But apparently it does. Often.

Since 1999, some pervert has been calling restaurants across the nation, pulling this same stunt, ordering managers to strip-search their employees.

In 2001, it happened at Burger Kings in Bismarck, N.D., Odessa, Texas, and Ottumwa, Iowa. In 2002, it happened at a McDonald's in Utah and a Burger King in Indiana. In 2003, it happened at a Hardee's in Rapid City, S.D., Applebees in Salt Lake City and at Hooters in Charleston, W.Va.

In February, it happened at four - count 'em, four - Wendy's in the Boston area.

And now, it has happened in Fountain Hills. Only this time it wasn't an employee.

And it wasn't a stunt.

"Please don't call it a prank. The TV stations have been calling it a prank on Taco Bell," the girl's mother said. "For my daughter's sake, it's not a prank."

No, it wasn't a prank. And that 39-year-old manager is no victim. I can see where a 17-year-old girl might be intimidated by a "cop" on the phone, who tells her she's going to jail if she doesn't submit.

But a 39-year-old man?

Restaurant managers of America, here's a news flash: COPS DON'T CALL YOU ON THE PHONE AND ASK YOU TO STRIP-SEARCH YOUR CUSTOMERS. ESPECIALLY NOT YOUR CUSTOMERS WHO ARE 17 YEARS OLD.

"I would think any citizen watching Cops knows that even a cop has to go and usually get a search warrant, and they use a medical person to search your body cavity," Arpaio said.

Since they apparently don't, Arpaio says he has sent letters to all the chains. There is, however, one more person he ought to contact: the county attorney.

Like I said, that 39-year-old is no victim. That girl went looking for a chalupa and came away with a complex that she'll have to live with for a long time. I figure before this is over, she'll own Taco Bell.

But until then, the fast-food giant might want to consider a change in its motto.

Instead of "Think Outside the Bun," how about just "Think."