Reply
Thu 27 Jun, 2013 05:01 am
cliffs:
- dated a girl 2 months (6 months after she broke up her relationship of 4 years)
- we broke up because of her emotional baggage
- 2 months NC
- she contacted me, apologied, told me she got scared because she noticed that she had feelings for me
- agree to go for a drink and take everything slow
- had a nice date, I went for a kiss but it ended making out
- remembered me about taking things slow and smiled
Its been 2 days and I havent texted her yet. I dont want to appear overly interested, because i dont want to give her all the power like I did in the past. Also I want to see, if she is really over her ex before we have something serious.
Id like to hear some advice/opinion/experiences about this. How should i act, should i text her following days? Wait for her text? Id like to have a power in this situation, but how...
@ippn1,
Pick up the phone - call, don't text.
Today is fine. You waited two days; I think you can stop waiting now.
I sometimes wish that Jespah was my mum.
@Lordyaswas,
Lordyaswas wrote:
I sometimes wish that Jespah was my mum.
Hmm, where was I 30 years ago?
@ippn1,
Power rarely changes, even the second time around, because you gave it to her the first time, and in order for you to not give it to her the second time, you have to understand - how & why did you give it to her in the first place? Do you know how & why?
And unless you initiated the 'making out' on this last date, you've also started down the road to doing the same by given it (the situational power) to her the second time.
@vikorr,
At the beginning, i had all the power. She got my number, chased me, try to see me... But after few weeks, I fell for her and she became more and more distant (saw her ex - emotional baggage resurfaced). So I was silly and pursue her more (texting, tried to show her that Im better bf that her ex could ever be). So I gave her all the power with that.
Instead I should just let her go back then, but there was no logic at that point, only emotions.
What's with all this power talk crap?
If you two really cared about each other there would be no power struggle at all. You would want to be with each other and all other issues fall to the side.
Get out of this one. Both of you are playing games. She likes the chase and you like the pursuing. Immature.
@PUNKEY,
PUNKEY wrote:
What's with all this power talk crap?
Absolutely. Do her and yourself a favour. Move on. Don't call. Don't text.
@PUNKEY,
Quote:What's with all this power talk crap?
If you two really cared about each other there would be no power struggle at all. You would want to be with each other and all other issues fall to the side.
Get out of this one. Both of you are playing games. She likes the chase and you like the pursuing. Immature.
Punkey, I've never seen a single relationship that doesn't involve a power struggle at the start - even if only in the nicest possible ways, so 'power talk' isn't crap. The simple fact is the result of an unbalanced power struggle almost always leads to a failed relationship.
It's also generally true that younger people are prone to more volatile (as in all over the place) power struggles because they don't yet comprehend who they are. So what then is the only way to learn?
Words certainly don't usually do it - or we'd all be help book human geniuses. Let him experience life and grow from it.
Stumble It!
Tweet This
Bookmark on Delicious
Share on Facebook
Share on MySpace