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Recently came onto a same sex friend

 
 
Crazy4
 
Reply Thu 20 Jun, 2013 11:43 am
I recently was out with a friend and came on to her, it made her feel uncomfortable. I think I just mixed up my feelings of a great friendship with attraction, either way she said she understood but just needed space to reevaluate her lifestyle about not drinking, getting enough sleep and taking care of herself. I waited a couple of days and have sent a couple of texts just talking about my daughters accomplishments and I am not getting anything in return. I am afraid she is avoiding me. I do not want to lose her as a friend, she has helped me through a lot. I am very upset and don't know what to do. Can anyone give some advice?
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Type: Question • Score: 7 • Views: 1,545 • Replies: 12
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tsarstepan
 
  2  
Reply Thu 20 Jun, 2013 11:51 am
@Crazy4,
Welcome to the friendzone. It's not a fun place to be. All that I can say is that you're going to have to give that person A LOT more space to contemplate what kind of relationship you two have now and where it can or should go from here.

That means, no texting her even if your intentions are innocent and benign. Sad to say, the ball is in her court and she hasn't returned the volley quite yet.

The waiting can be quite difficult and frustrating, (saying this from recent experience myself). There isn't much that can be done for the immediate now. Patience is a necessary virtue/skill needed now.
Crazy4
 
  1  
Reply Thu 20 Jun, 2013 12:05 pm
@tsarstepan,
Thanks so much for the input. I know it is going to be difficult but I must refrain from trying to contact her if I want any chance of keeping the friendship. I am sorry you have had the same experience but I hope things have worked out for the best.
PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Fri 21 Jun, 2013 09:23 am
@Crazy4,
I disagree. CALL her and apologize to her for your actions. Tell her you agree that she needs to get more sleep, not use drugs or alcohol and to take care of herself and you will be there as an old friend. That has not changed.

If she is interested in you romantically, then she will make a move. Until then, assume nothing.
Mame
 
  1  
Reply Fri 21 Jun, 2013 10:20 am
@Crazy4,
Crazy4 wrote:

Thanks so much for the input. I know it is going to be difficult but I must refrain from trying to contact her if I want any chance of keeping the friendship. I am sorry you have had the same experience but I hope things have worked out for the best.


Wait - Tsar hit on your friend? Or Tsar hit on one of his male friends? Whoa!
0 Replies
 
Crazy4
 
  1  
Reply Fri 21 Jun, 2013 12:36 pm
@PUNKEY,
Thank you, another perspective, something for me to think about
0 Replies
 
Darlene1974
 
  1  
Reply Mon 10 Feb, 2014 10:20 am
@Crazy4,
I don't know why people who know they are sexually different insist on thinking that they are and so come right out and start talking and arguing and explaining themselves. It's the wrong way, the losing way, to go about it. "Coming on to her" you probably did something like say, "Do you like women?" Or "How 'bout a little action?" I never do this aggressive approach but instead try to be around, do things for, be friendly to, show and tell. It takes a long time, but as I only try to seduce those who are attractive to me and very interesting and friendly, I am losing nothing by spending time with them and if it turns out they are uninterested I don't even feel I have wasted my time. It takes me weeks "to come on to someone." I don't like rejection! It makes me feel bad. I let them see me nude and dressing--what better place than my bedroom for them to assess me? I allude "to magazines and articles I read," to gauge their reaction. Or I tell them little stories from my personal history to see what they think. Once I successfully ignited a relationship by confiding an obsession that began when I was a child. Seems she had the same obsession and our conversation took off from there... I never trust "coming on to someone" as a way of approaching them.
0 Replies
 
kerryb
 
  1  
Reply Thu 24 Apr, 2014 04:13 pm
@Crazy4,
Just give her time....I have did this before a few times with my friends.....of course we were drinking at the time....but I have actually had bi sexual relationships with a cpl of my married friends....and we are still friends.....and I also have hit on a friend of mine and she just laughed it off. Hopefully she will get over it. GoodLuck!
0 Replies
 
Romeo Fabulini
 
  2  
Reply Thu 24 Apr, 2014 06:04 pm
Quote:
Crazy said: I recently was out with a friend and came on to her, it made her feel uncomfortable.... I do not want to lose her as a friend...

You already have..Wink
Crazy4
 
  1  
Reply Sun 11 May, 2014 10:07 pm
@Romeo Fabulini,
Actually no I haven't. As of Christmas time we have been speaking again on the phone, email and texting. We both figured life is too short to lose a friendship over something like this. I do appreciate everyone's views on this.
Wilso
 
  1  
Reply Sun 11 May, 2014 11:06 pm
@Crazy4,
Crazy4 wrote:

Actually no I haven't. As of Christmas time we have been speaking again on the phone, email and texting. We both figured life is too short to lose a friendship over something like this. I do appreciate everyone's views on this.


Romeo's only relationship of note is with imaginary characters. You can safely ignore anything he says regarding real people. He's a train wreck.
Romeo Fabulini
 
  1  
Reply Mon 12 May, 2014 03:57 am
If a male friend of mine made a homosexual pass at me I'd avoid him from that second on..Smile
Something like that happened in the past was when I used to chat to a near-neighbour whenever we bumped into each other in the street.
One day we were talking about militant gay activist troublemakers and to my surprise he said "we shouldn't knock homosexuality until we've tried it".
I never replied, I looked at my watch and said "Oh is that the time? Sorry I gotta get to the shops before they close, bye", and off I went.
Needless to say, if I see him in the street nowadays I do a U-turn or dodge down a side street..Smile
0 Replies
 
Crazy4
 
  1  
Reply Mon 12 May, 2014 09:12 pm
@Wilso,
Thanks, I think I will do just that
0 Replies
 
 

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