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Elderly abuse; neglect by default...

 
 
Reply Wed 19 Jun, 2013 10:51 am
Elderly mother of four(4) living adult children dies after pro-longed bout with unknown medical/mental problems; one son, witch over-sees care of mother while other three (3) keep her out of sight and thus out of mind! Oldest son over-sees care and lives with her, as he has had an untenable situation with only son, no help from siblings with mother and medical problems; and most importantly, is concerned for mother! Mother passes because of stage-4 colon cancer, which eldest son has been trying to get her help for, as she has been ruled mentally incapable of taking care of her financial duties; this incapacity was much worse than financial, as she would or could not understand that she was very much in need of medical need and support! One might ask; why didn't son get her help! Son did everything possible in respect of law! Sisters grabbed 'plenary guardianship' after father's passing three(3) yrs. earlier! They didn't want to be responsible for her well-fare and that's why her care was left to brother(oldest son) to stay and suffer along with her, as situation was untenable! Since, will settlement has been held up, as sisters are trying best to keep brother off balance and in depressed state, as he and others KNOW just what really has gone on! Mother expressed funeral in will; sisters had her cremated very next day after he passing; same thing was done to father who passed three(3) yrs. earlier, and he was disabled veteran that deserved an military service and all of his friends and associates to attend; both mom & dad deserved an service! He had lived in same town for over fifty(50) yrs. and had a lot of people that would have liked to have known! Same way mother was treated after her passing; no notice in paper, no friends notified, no nothing; it was left to only one that really cared to let as many people know as possible! Damn sad commentary of some that do not care or take responsibility when it really counts...does anyone care or know of similar situation? I, the son that cared, would really like to know! He also intends to sue the hell out of two of three sisters; and would entertain any advise on that also...this travesty needs attention! Maybe it will have some effect on similar scenarios.
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Type: Discussion • Score: 1 • Views: 1,198 • Replies: 2
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vikorr
 
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Reply Wed 19 Jun, 2013 03:29 pm
@honestjohn777,
It's probably not as uncommon as it sounds. Ugly but interesting will disputes make the papers often enough - often involving a carer vs the siblings. But it's unlikely to be common enough that anyone here will have experienced it.

What will suing 2 of your 3 siblings achieve? Sibling law suits never 'teach them a lesson'. So is it revenge, pay back?
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Father0694
 
  1  
Reply Thu 4 Jul, 2013 03:17 am
@honestjohn777,
First, I am very sorry for your loss and the grief that the situation has caused you. You have done something admirable. Taking care of an elder, sick parent is no easy undertaking by any stretch so for that you have my respect.

Some parts of the situation are difficult to understand. If she expressed burial in the will then I do not think they can cremate. I'm not sure about the laws in your location but in my state in the US I believe the will is legally binding. Did she have a living will?

My mother died from Parkinson's disease. At 23 I found myself taking care of her full time. Her meals, her washing, her medications- everything. It was overwhelming, rewarding, depressing and enlightening. I would wake up at any hour of the night to clean her bedding if she had an accident or help her to the toilet.

The death of a loved one naturally brings out many emotions and even close relatives can react much differently from one another. For example, my cousins saw nothing wrong with saying they wanted our grandfather to die so they can use their inheritance to buy a watch and pay for a wedding.

How long ago did she pass? How are you supporting yourself? Did she eventually seek any treatment? Please keep me posted.
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