@honestjohn777,
First, I am very sorry for your loss and the grief that the situation has caused you. You have done something admirable. Taking care of an elder, sick parent is no easy undertaking by any stretch so for that you have my respect.
Some parts of the situation are difficult to understand. If she expressed burial in the will then I do not think they can cremate. I'm not sure about the laws in your location but in my state in the US I believe the will is legally binding. Did she have a living will?
My mother died from Parkinson's disease. At 23 I found myself taking care of her full time. Her meals, her washing, her medications- everything. It was overwhelming, rewarding, depressing and enlightening. I would wake up at any hour of the night to clean her bedding if she had an accident or help her to the toilet.
The death of a loved one naturally brings out many emotions and even close relatives can react much differently from one another. For example, my cousins saw nothing wrong with saying they wanted our grandfather to die so they can use their inheritance to buy a watch and pay for a wedding.
How long ago did she pass? How are you supporting yourself? Did she eventually seek any treatment? Please keep me posted.