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2 months since bf broke off 8 year relationship.

 
 
Ztw
 
Reply Mon 17 Jun, 2013 03:05 pm
It's been 2 months since my ex broke off our relationship of 8 years. We've known each other for 15 yrs.
He said he had no time for me between working & being in 2 bands. He said its something he had to do even if he regrets it. He also stated he can't see me not in his life & that I'm his best friend&wants to remain friends.. I did not agree with the breakup & told him I loved him. I said you make time for people you care about regardless of how busy you are and after 8 yrs. I should be a priority. He said that's easier said then done. I asked him if there was someone else & he denied it. he said he'd rather be alone then be with me.
After the break up literally a few hours later he texted me asking me how i was doing & to be honest. ?.... This is not the first time he has done this to me. While breaking up with me he stated the last time we broke up he was miserable. ?Then that same night he was liking photos on my Facebook page. I have since deactivated my account. I have disappeared and had no contact with him at all. I am heartbroken & think about him constantly. We have the same friends and heard he is vacationing all over and just got back from Canada. (I didn't ask about him) I have been thinking about getting back on Facebook & deleting him as a friend. idk...

I feel so foolish for thinking we had something special & I feel so lost while he clearly is having the time of his life without me. I don't know how to move on. I am still in love with him.
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Type: Question • Score: 4 • Views: 2,021 • Replies: 4
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Ragman
 
  1  
Reply Mon 17 Jun, 2013 03:53 pm
@Ztw,
Sorry you have to be going though this. Been there and obviously this is painful.

You're right to leave him off your FB. From what I've read here, regardless of what has happened, you seem to be doing the right thing and have the right attitude about how to move on. His indecision is not fair to you and results in abusive behavior. You are far better off without the back and forth.

Nothing that you will read here will indicate that it will all of a sudden be easy now and in the immediate future. It'll be a little better each day that you leave this behind you. You may have HAD something special, but he now seems to be narcissistically involved in his own world. Proof of that (narcissism) is his asking how you are, even though he knows how devastated you are. That's not love on his part.

The sad thing about love is, sometimes it can't conquer all. Sometimes love is not enough.
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PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Tue 18 Jun, 2013 08:11 am
I know how you feel. But you are dong things right: remove him from your life IF you are serious about this.

You said he has done this before. He is showing that he doesn't have the maturity or insight to sit down with you and discuss his schedule and how you can fit into it - if you can or want to.

He is thinking only of himself. That ought to give you a sign of things to come.

Let him go to play his tunes. If he really wanted you, he would have made time for you or at least involved you in the decision.
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Lash
 
  2  
Reply Tue 18 Jun, 2013 10:32 am
He'd rather be alone than with you...that had to be very hard to hear. He became used to you - he took you for granted... His post-break up behavior shows he wants to remain friends. That would be great and mature - if it doesn't include casual sex - and I bet it does.

I'm concerned that you are waiting around for the booty call in hopes that that will signify your chance to get back together.

Do yourself a favor. You are too sad and damaged for an honest, authentic friendship with him right now. You are vulnerable to being used.

Stay cut off from him for months - try hard to stop thinking about him. Get busy - fill your time with fun, new things to help you not to focus your thoughts on him.

Once you know you're done with him, possibly a friendship is possible.

Write the cruelest things he said to you and when you get weepy over him read them loudly to yourself.

Don't give your lovely self to that creep again. He'd rather be by himself than with you.

Don't dare give yourself to an asshole who would say those words to you.

Good luck.
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yashi
 
  0  
Reply Thu 27 Jun, 2013 07:26 am
@Ztw,
I am so sorry dear that you are going through all this. But you know what it happens. It's not your fault so don't punish yourself. It's clear that he doesn't love you now so just move on. I know forgetting someone you have loved since 8 years is not easy but you should at least try. Engage yourself in other activities. Make friends and go out with them. Don't think about him because as much you think about him , it will bring back old memories and you will get upset. Try to move on. It's the best for you.
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