they want me to act my age
Excellent question Dale.
If your asking for advice Random, we kind of need to know what your limits
are. Can't tell a teenager living at home to utterly ignore his/her parents when he/she's living under their roof.
You can tell a twentysomething or older to pay no heed to their hypercontrolling parents but with this challenge he/she will lose any chance of living at his parents house but oh the freedom you'll suffer then.
Have you considered that your parents have pondered your well thought out plans
and figured you are biting far more then you can chew? So what exactly constitutes these life plans that you have designed for your future?