Why does he say these things? So confused...

Ah, FWB. Rarely is it the same on both sides, no matter what kinds of ground rules have been set.

He likes you more than you like him. He is scared or too whipped or whatever to leave his live-in (and may be legitimately worried about how much child support would cost him, as he'd be supporting 2 separate households). He has also decided that the emotional element, for him, means that he's allowed to express jealousy and attempt to prevent you from seeing someone else and, potentially, finding love or better sex or any other incentive for giving him the kiss-off.

He sounds immature and possessive at best. At worst, well, could he get violent? Wackier things have happened in the world.

He is also exceptionally selfish. He wants to have his cake, eat it, too, and prevent you from possibly leaving him while you're still young.

Ignore him when he puts claims on you, as he has no such rights, but be aware and protect your person, and of course end it if it escalates (and/or involve the authorities if it gets bad - like I said, it's not like there's no precedent for such things).

And feel free to look for love, better sex or whatever it will take to get you to a better place, where your self-esteem is higher and you don't just accept being a booty call for a guy who, frankly, sounds like a douche.

Ha ha ha ha, thank you for the frank reply! I love it.

It just struck me as odd behavior, considering I've been up front with him in that I would never date him. He's a serial cheater, after all. He ended up with his current girlfriend while he was with his ex-wife, and I have no desire to be the next one on the list.

To me it seemed like the behavior that other women in affairs talk about, when they're madly in love with him so he'll say whatever he needs to to keep his free piece on the side. But considering he knows he doesn't need to, since I'm not interested in dating... it's just weird to me. I never would have believed he had genuine feelings for me, but since that's what came to your mind first, perhaps I'll have to reevaluate things.

I know he isn't going to leave her, I don't kid myself. If he's as miserable as he claims to be, I wish he would, though not to be with me. We're still friends so naturally I care about his well-being. But I suspect he's exaggerating and just needs to suck it up and actually try to work on things with his main lady.

He is both immature and possessive, lmao, but he's nowhere in my mind when I'm looking for dates. He has no claim on me and I don't let him think he does. When I start seeing someone new, the physical aspect of our relationship ends. It's happened several times and there's never been any sort of problem. He gripes about my new guy and calls him every degrading name he can think of, but that's the end of it. I don't think he'd ever get violent, but like you said, stranger things have happened!

When things first started it was definitely a self-esteem issue; that much is true. I was 20, never had a boyfriend, and I saw this handsome older guy every day who showered me with compliments and made me feel important. Why would I pass that up? These days I know better, and it's more of a fun way to pass the time while waiting for Prince Charming to meander my way. Most single men I encounter are either too creepy to date (and please don't think me as stuck up... I'm talking pedophile creepy), or too selfish in bed to play with on the side. Once something better (and single!!!!) comes along, the "benefits" of our friendship will drop. But in the meantime, his douchiness keeps me occupied. :]

Thanks again for your advice! I appreciate it. I love to hear any other opinions you - or anyone else - may have.

Look, you admit that you would never date him. By his actions he is showing that he will not leave the girlfriend. So be the stronger of the two of you and end it. Stop seeing him and texting him and talking to him.

Then buy a good vibrator until someone better comes along.

Problem solved. Next case.

Another viable alternative!