Thu 23 May, 2013 12:05 am
Hello, I have had a Girlfriend for two and a half years, and I am recently considering if I should break up with her. We met each other in college, and became boyfriend/girlfriend by the end of freshman year. It wasn't until about 6 months in, we started fighting. It got worse for a while, then better after we took a break for a week, now it's slowly creeping back to fighting almost once a week.
Legitimately there was more than one fight that could be attributed to me (being late), but so many more of the fights could be attributed to her not getting to see me for some reason or another.
For example, the fact that she "hadn't gotten to see me in so long" (maybe four days) over ruled me doing something with my friends, even when I told her in advance that I was doing it, and when I said I wouldn't come over we fought over it for days.
Other times it's over me "not caring enough." A few times during these fights, even though I've told her this really hurts me, I'll say "I love you", and she'll reply in a dead serious tone "do you really?"
Now to get a little deep. My father passed away of cancer last year, and it's been pretty rough on me, but my girlfriend helped me through it. Now my girlfriend's father is sick with cancer (don't know how severe yet) and her family hardly has enough money to chip in for my girlfriend's tuition let alone a bunch more hospital bills.
I would feel like a monster breaking up with her, but I really just don't feel like I should be in this relationship anymore. I know relationships should be about yourself, but she's going through a really rough time right now, and I feel like I should help her like she helped me.
We're talking about living together next year, and neither of us know if the fighting will get better or worse...What should I do?
Your relationship has not been on solid ground for a long time. Neither of you sounds really happy.
You need to have a good talk with her.
You are still grieving about your father; she is just entering that stage. Both of you are under a lot of pressure. Her needs are going to get more intense.
Ask her how you can comfort her - and still get your "guy" time. It may not work, but at least you have talked about it. Don't feel that you have to make any decision right now. She may have to get comforted by other people in her life.
@Desperatebf,
Perhaps right now is not the best time to break up but perhaps its a good time to mention that the fighting really concerns you and the future of your relationship with her which you want to talk about whether its now or next week or whenever.
Even if you don't want to have a future with her, this is a person that you have been close to for two and half years. Offering to support her as a friend, even if you both decide not to continue the relationship, is something you can do.
For me, I would picture being with the person minus the constant arguments and decide if I want to have a life with this person, then take it from there.
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