Are you a sexually submissive man?

Reply Sat 27 Apr, 2013 09:33 am
I was never really interested in sex until I heard men can be prey too.
I was wondering how rare this type of man is.
Are you a male who likes to be loved instead of doing the loving?
Or do you like the idea of a woman doing most of the loving even if you aren't decidedly 100% submissive?
After some reading, I read that submissive or slightly submissive men aren't usually are bars or parties. (not sure if that's true) So if you're a submissive type, where are you most likely to be found? What are your interests? What kind of job do you have? How do you act around girls, or people in general? What is your most distinctive quality?

-By "submissive" I don't mean sexual tastes that include sadism, masochism, punishment, painful or restrictive bondage, or abuse. Because that's really excessive, and doesn't reflect an emotional relationship based on affection. By the term, I mean a person would like to receive emotional and sexual pleasure, not pain, from their partner.
-By "loving" second-base foreplay, along the lines of kissing and caressing the chest, nipples, stomach, or thighs
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Reply Wed 29 May, 2013 01:04 pm
I am not sure if I am what you are referring to but I will share my (and my wife's) situation and you can be the judge. I am a strong willed and driven man, own a business and am by all measures masculine in every sense of the word by most measures. I built our home, love to hunt, love sports, don't respect men that are wimps (nor does my wife).

My wife is a very strong, confident, and independent woman. This is what attracted me to her in the first place. She is very feminine but is not girlish or squeamish. She will kill the spider, not scream. She will stop and help a person with a flat tire because she can change a tire and is willing to help. She wears heels and business suit to work and flirt like nobodies business.

My wife and have been married 22 years, most of which was a very traditional type or relationship. At least for society's standpoint, husband head of household. I have to say that we did not really have what I called a smooth or deeply comfortable relationship. That is to say there was a slight but deeply rooted tension that we never openly discussed but we both felt. In retrospect early in our marriage she unwittingly fingered it but we were too young and to know what it was. Early in our marriage she made the comment that "our problem is that we both want to be in control". I agreed that it sometimes was a problem but internally I noted that it was ultimately my natural role to be the one in control as the husband of the family.

On June 4th, 2011 something happened that change my whole paradigm and righted this problem and we have been happier then ever and the subtle deep rooted tension has been dissipating ever since. On this night, my wife accepted my offer (which I had made to her repeatedly over the 22 years of our marriage) to allow me administer sexual pleasure to her without her feeling the need or obligation to reciprocate in any way whatsoever. She was to only relax, receive, and enjoy. Nothing else. Her acceptance of my offer changed everything. She allowed me to pleasure her to her full satisfaction using only my hand and mouth. When she was totally spent, she put her pajamas back on, cuddled with her head on my chest. I thanked her for allowing me to pleasure her and she drifted off to sleep. She had absolutely no sexual contact with me in the sense she contacted my genitalia. Not even so much as a brush her leg as she through it over me with her thigh coming to rest on my lower stomach. She was careful not to touch me in any way that would result in sexual arousal.

I did not sleep that night until dawn. I laid awake in ecstasy. Very aroused, more so than I could remember in recent years. I was amazing that I could feel so fulfilled without the slightest bit of sexual contact or release. I had tremendous pent up sexual energy yet I was as in a very tranquil and satisfied place. I laid awake, reliving, and replaying what had just happened. When my wife got out of bed that night, put her clothes on after receiving almost a full hour of 100% attention on her for her physical pleasure with not so much as a casual touch from her, an awareness washed over me that this is the way it is supposed to be. I knew then that my pleasure came from giving her pleasure and that is it in totality and that was my rightful place or role in our relationship and it was her place to be served for her pleasure.

Ever since that night I have been at an indescribable ease within myself. Me becoming aware that I am the submissive one in the relationship has brought me a huge amount of peace and self confidence and self esteem that had been missing. I have come to realize I had been trying to be what I thought I need to be to fill the stereotypical role of husband, head of household. That wasn't me. It is hard for me to explain but our relationship is not one where she is a Dominatrix with me being her sissy husband. But rather I put her needs and satisfaction first and foremost and she accepts me as loving to do it, is getting comfortable with the realization that that is truly where my sanctification is rooted. So it has removed the pressure from her to make sure that my needs are being met, because if hers are met, than so are mine. This being said, she does not ignore me sexually, but on the contrary it has opened up new ways for her to please me. She has discovered that her teasing and then denying me release while letting me fully pleasure her is quit fun for her and amazing for me. There is never any pressure on her now to have sex. She knows that if I am in need but she is not in the mood she can simply refer me to rubbing her feet before we go to sleep. I gladly do it, and with me being a nude sleeper, the arousal I experience from this is very apparent yet it does not create any anxiety or pressure on her to do anything about it. She knows that she has given me great physical and sexual pleasure by putting me at her feet and having me rub her feet. Ever since that night in June, two years ago, we have been more at ease sexually. I serve her in a lot of ways now, more so than ever before, in and out of the bedroom. But in the bedroom she has been lifted to an exalted position as the Queen of or bed chamber you might say and is getting quite used to it. It is to the point that when foreplay starts I almost am hopeful that it ends in her putting her panties on after she has had her orgasm and whispering to me "you will be going without tonight". I do enjoy her expression dominance when she chooses to exercise it over me. Since that first night she now has come to understand that her teasing me with her manually or orally while I am in the process of bringing her complete satisfaction heightens my pleasure at being denied as well. We are at a point now that at least half of the orgasms she experiences come from stimulation other than penetration. Which means she has more than twice the orgasms than I do. I should mention that since this awareness has been reached I have totally given up masturbation. My orgasms have become her property and it is openly stated that this is the case and only she decides when and if I get to have one.

It is amazing how liberating it has been for us. Whereas before I would have to squelch my sexual desires when they did not peak at the same time has hers. When were are alone I can now relax, allow my desire to be expressed whenever it is arises and it does not create tension or expectations.

I am not sure if this is along the lines of what you were asking but it is a long winded explanation of my submissive sexual relationship to my wife. There are other facets to our relationship that has evolved as a result, all of which has brought us more at ease and more comfort with each other and we are more happily married than ever before as a result.

If you would like to know more or have questions you can contact me at [email protected]
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Reply Wed 29 May, 2013 06:16 pm
I think you got what you wanted all along: being in control.

YOU control her sex life - and are willing to set aside your needs to ensure this power over her.

Apparently that turns you on more than having a real connection with her.

But . . . whatever turns you on.

Was it good for you?
Reply Thu 30 May, 2013 07:44 am
@Punkey you you obviously failed to comprehend both the question posed and my response. Please make an effort to follow along and if you are gong to attempt to participate try to do so in some sort of constructive fashion.
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