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Some advice would be greatly appreciated regarding "friend"

 
 
Reply Wed 24 Apr, 2013 05:44 pm
Why don't anyone care? I knew her from working with her at a local fast food joint 4 years ago. She snubbed me right from the start and wanted nothing to do with me. Yet, she talked to other ppl. Nobody cared that she hurt me badly. And to top that off, she's related to the boss, so management let her hurt me. I tried talking to her, but I couldn't get more than a few syllables out of her, if that. I tried joining in her conversations, but she never responded; other ppl did. Eventually, I became short with other coworkers, especially those she liked. Finally, I had enough and quit a year later.

That girl resurfaced last year at the mall. She was with a friend. I remember she told me she don't wanna be my friend when I tried engaging her in a conversation. I said hi and she didn't respond. And she never accepted my facebook friend request.

I'm at a better job now in a large retail for well over a year now. I thought it was all over, but I was dead wrong. Recently, (a week ago) she walked in with her friend. As usual, I said hi and she went, "Don't talk to me. Look the other way!" I was REALLY humiliated. I went to the back room and cried for the entire duration of my break (half an hour.) The following day, while we were all in the break room, I told my coworkers what I'm telling y'all now. My supervisor took me aside when break was over and told me not to bring it up again. It was inappropriate and furthermore, nobody cares. I was shocked bc I thought of all the ppl, she'd be the type to care! So I cried some more. Tell me: Why don't anyone care? WHY?
 
cicerone imposter
 
  1  
Reply Wed 24 Apr, 2013 06:12 pm
@dirrtydozen22,
I think your pseudonym is very revealing. However, without meeting you, there's no way for anybody on a2k to answer your question.
dirrtydozen22
 
  2  
Reply Wed 24 Apr, 2013 06:13 pm
@cicerone imposter,
So you can't know why ppl don't care? And what do u mean my pseudonym is revealing?
cicerone imposter
 
  1  
Reply Wed 24 Apr, 2013 07:12 pm
@dirrtydozen22,
Well, there's always two sides to every story. We didn't hear from the person who seems adamant in not wanting to associate with you.

That's all!
0 Replies
 
ossobuco
 
  2  
Reply Wed 24 Apr, 2013 07:16 pm
@dirrtydozen22,
You are fixating on episodes that you nurture for years now. You ask us about it every so often, but you should be talking with your therapist.

0 Replies
 
Butrflynet
 
  3  
Reply Wed 24 Apr, 2013 07:29 pm
Quote:
The following day, while we were all in the break room, I told my coworkers what I'm telling y'all now. My supervisor took me aside when break was over and told me not to bring it up again. It was inappropriate and furthermore, nobody cares. I was shocked bc I thought of all the ppl, she'd be the type to care! So I cried some more. Tell me: Why don't anyone care? WHY?


You burn people out with your obsession about this. It isn't that they don't care, it is that you don't seem to make any progress toward improvement and you allow something as small as a flea to repeatedly send you over the cliff again.

We've repeatedly told your personas here that you need therapeutic help.

We've also suggested that working at Costco where you are required to interact with the public may not be in your best interest.

We've told you that supervisors are not required to be their employee's best friend forever.

We've told you that your fellow employees are not required to be your best friend forever.

We've suggested that the workplace is not the proper place for many of your non-job related dramatics.

We've given you ideas for how to improve your decorum at work.



Stacy, exactly what is it you want people on a message board to say?

What is it that you want the people in your life to do?

Why aren't you asking your family these questions and asking them to help you get the counseling you desperately need?
0 Replies
 
Butrflynet
 
  2  
Reply Wed 24 Apr, 2013 07:44 pm
@dirrtydozen22,
Quote:
That girl resurfaced last year at the mall. She was with a friend. I remember she told me she don't wanna be my friend when I tried engaging her in a conversation. I said hi and she didn't respond. And she never accepted my facebook friend request.


You remembered she told you she didn't want to be your friend, yet you again tried engaging her in conversation and went so far as sending her a Facebook friend request.

What part of "she told me she don't wanna be my friend" did you ignore when you did that?

Quote:
I thought it was all over, but I was dead wrong. Recently, (a week ago) she walked in with her friend. As usual, I said hi and she went, "Don't talk to me. Look the other way!" I was REALLY humiliated.


She walked in a whole week ago and here you are still obsessing on it 7 days later.

You brought the humiliation upon yourself by again ignoring her repeated messages to you that she does not want to be friends with you. What does it take for you to get the message and stop attempting to make contact with her? Yes, saying hi is attempting to make contact.

Quote:
The following day, while we were all in the break room, I told my coworkers what I'm telling y'all now. My supervisor took me aside


The incident had nothing at all to do with your place of work, nor did it involve your coworkers or your supervisor. Yet you chose to share your humiliation and 24-hour obsession over it with them to the point that your supervisor had to call you aside and bluntly tell you to knock it off.

Tell me again, who was responsible for that?

And here you are, 7 days later still going on and on about it wanting to know why people don't care rather than finally getting the messages that we've been talking with you about for several years now.

You don't care when someone tells you they don't wish to be friends or have any communication with you.

You don't care when people take the time to help you understand why you are having problems at work and give suggestions of how to avoid those problems.

Who is it that isn't caring, Stacy?
dirrtydozen22
 
  0  
Reply Thu 25 Apr, 2013 06:12 am
@Butrflynet,
Well thx god that was the only time I brought it up in this job!
PUNKEY
 
  2  
Reply Thu 25 Apr, 2013 07:20 am
@dirrtydozen22,
Well, your feelings got hurt and that pain can come back up in a nano-second WHEN IT DOES NOT GET RESOLVED AT THE BEGINNING.

Do you realize you are acting like a hungry puppy around her? Looking for a pat on the head or a treat? She has sent you away, yet you still keep coming back.

WHY?
0 Replies
 
Ragman
 
  2  
Reply Thu 25 Apr, 2013 07:43 am
@dirrtydozen22,
but time after time you ask the same advice and people who have read your posts keep advising you to work with your therapist and/or your parents. They understand your issues best. You don't seem to understand how to appropriately deal with co-workers and casual acquaintances. You have something in your psyche that doesn't allow to understand and read other people's feeling or social clues.

You've told us all the person who already told you last year that she doesn't want to be your friend and she should be LEFT alone. Unfortunately for you that means FOREVER. Certainly, you never should have told a break room about this issue. You don't understand what is appropriate socially. That is something your therapist (NOT A2K) should help you with.

If your boss and co-workers didn't know how fragile and damaged your emotions are/were before this, they do now!
0 Replies
 
Butrflynet
 
  2  
Reply Thu 25 Apr, 2013 03:08 pm
@dirrtydozen22,
The problem is that it isn't the first time, Stacy. If I need to, I can copy and paste the other times you've posted here about reactions at work when you tried to talk with them about it.
0 Replies
 
Mame
 
  2  
Reply Fri 26 Apr, 2013 07:27 am
@dirrtydozen22,
Your title: Some advice would be greatly appreciated regarding "friend"

Uh... she is obviously NOT your FRIEND. Listen to Butterflynet!! And Ragman has it right, I think. I believe you are missing something that allows you to read and understand social cues. But even if you were able to do that, you wouldn't because YOU DON'T LISTEN.
cicerone imposter
 
  1  
Reply Fri 26 Apr, 2013 10:01 am
@Mame,
dirttydozen, Persistence is thy name.
0 Replies
 
 

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