Caution: The following is not a real news story.
Bush Admits He's Hiding Bad News
by Scott Ott
(2004-10-26) -- President George Bush today admitted that his Democrat rival is correct in saying that Mr. Bush is "hiding bad news" until after the polls close next Tuesday.
"My opponent speaks the truth when he says that some Americans are going to get some bad news--maybe even before the sun comes up on November 3," said Mr. Bush, "It will involve defeat and the realization that huge sums of money have been wasted on an unwinnable battle against a determined and entrenched foe."
Although President Bush promised to deliver the news personally in a televised address, he said that Mr. Kerry will likely be the first to inform the American people.
"Of course, bad news is all a matter of perspective," Mr. Bush said. "One man looks at the glass and says it's half empty, another man sees the same glass and says, 'Come on, Dick, let's get back to work'."
**Edited to add a disclaimer for Dookie and other humor-challenged partisans.**
